


5 Times Kaedan fell in love with Xander's voice (And the one time it was the other way around)

by Aquattarius_Rain



Category: Fall of the Strongholds, Original Work, Relics of the Strongholds
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BAMF Xander, Cute, Fluff, Funny, Heartwarming, Kaedan is a therapist, Kaedan is shy, Kaedan wants to stop making bad decisions, Lumina Liu/Mina|Minakshi Rowlock, M/M, Mentions of Bella Callahan, Mentions of Hyunwoo Kang, Mentions of PTSD, Original Character(s), Owen Hernandez/Fenix Callahan, Owen just wants his brother to get a date, Risále Manon/Leon Song/Mirabella Callahan/Hyunwoo Kang, Xander is confident for someone who never turns on his camera, Youtuber AU, everyone is a gay mess even when they're not gay, everyone is a huge simp, everyone is kind of gay, in all honesty though he does have the right to be confident he's hot, mentions of polyamory, mentions of psychiactric work, minor ships, no i do not actually ship said two youtubers, the original story is on Webnovel.com, yes this is based off of a CERTAIN two youtubers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27198929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aquattarius_Rain/pseuds/Aquattarius_Rain
Summary: “I’ll see everyone tomorrow. I should be able to play,” Kaedan said sweetly, and he heard the chorus of “Goodbyes”However, of course, one stood out to him, “It was nice to meet you, honey-voiced gem of YouTube,” Xander said and-had his voice gotten deeper? Kaedan couldn’t tell.“Y-Yeah, you too, Xander,” He responded quickly, before ending the live stream and leaving the voice channel. He took off his headphones and slumped back in his seat.Then, with Xander’s voice ringing fresh in his mind, he shoved his face into his hands and groaned."Fuck, I’ve really screwed myself over this time, haven’t I?"
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Xander|Alexander Liu/Kaedan Hernandez
Kudos: 1





	1. One

**1.**

The first time Kaedan met Alexander Liu, or Xander, as the internet called him, he had, quite literally, forgotten the English language.

"Do any of you have anyone else you could add? We have seven people already," Kaedan asked, adjusting his headphones. He glanced over at his second monitor, just to make sure his camera was framed correctly.

"Seven? But there's only six of us in the lobby?" Leon's voice was much too loud and Kaedan cringed as it blasted through his headphones.

"Leon, your mic is way too loud. And Owen will be joining in like two minutes. He's just changing since he got back from dance team practice. By the way, Fenix, did you drop him off? You must be like...Sonic or something to get online this quick," Kaedan asked.

"No, I wanted to, but Bella wanted me to visit her today," It was a pretty well-known fact that 17-year-old gamer and guitarist Fenix Callahan was living on his own and his channel and band gigs paid for his older sister's hospital bills. In fact, anytime Fenix put out a video, the first comment was from Bella_Callahan. 

“Does she need anything? How is she feeling? Risá just got off work and Hyun said he’d drop by the hospital later tonight, does she want me to come to see her earlier-” Leon began to ask worriedly.

“Don’t worry, she’s alright. You know she would have asked for you if she needed anything from you. But I think maybe you and Risále should join Hyunwoo, she has some important news for you guys,” Fenix added.

“No, Fenix, come on, you can’t do this to me dude, you have to tell me _now_ ,” Leon whined and Kaedan had to hold back his laughter.

“Unlike my sister, Risále, and Hyunwoo, I am immune to _that_ tone. Nice try, you’re not getting anything out of me. Also, I think I know someone we can invite!” Fenix said, just Owen’s little shapeless blob appeared in the spaceship with the username MintHead_607, “Oh, hey, love.” 

There was pure silence as Fenix casually slipped out the nickname. Fenix and Owen, best friends of seven years, had finally come to terms with their feelings for each other and had started officially dating four days ago. However, the public did not know this.

As his chat exploded with comments of surprise, Kaedan sighed, “You know, when you both said you had a plan, I knew I should have asked you to elaborate.” 

“Well, my dear brother, I didn’t know that our local idiot was going to go about it this way,” Owen said, his mic finally connecting,” Wait, I should specify since we have two local idiots. I’m talking about my idiot boyfriend, not Leon.” 

And the entire chat lost it at that point. 

Kaedan groaned, “I’m afraid you two are going to end up crashing the stream, and god help me if you do, I will make sure that both of you die a painful death.” He said. He peeked at the chat, only to cover his face and groan again, “And also, I’m not cute, guys, I’m _trying_ to be angry.”

“Kaedan, your voice is just so sweet that no one can believe that you're angry. Plus, as your best friend of many, many, many years, I’d like to inform all of Kaedan’s fans that he is not, in fact, angry. His voice is _very_ different when he’s angry. This is just fond annoyance.” Mina said, and he could basically hear the grin in her voice.

“Mina, I swear to God, please shut up.” 

“There it is again! Fond annoyance!” She laughed and Kaedan grumbled something along the lines of “Keep pushing and it won’t be _fond_ annoyance anymore”

“Guys, didn’t Fenix say he wanted to invite someone?” Owen asked and everyone snapped back to the situation at hand.

“Oh right, everyone, I’m going to invite someone-Wait, shouldn’t Lumina do it? It’s your brother,” Fenix asked and Kaedan was surprised.

“Lumina, you have a brother? Is he a youtuber?” Kaedan asked, and he could hear Lumina yelling something away from her microphone.

“Xander says he’s up for a couple of rounds and yes, Kaedan. Although, you probably won’t recognize him since he doesn’t use his main channel name or the name he’s most commonly known by in real life when he’s gaming.” Lumina explained.

“Oh my God, wait, you’re inviting your brother who has an unfairly gorgeous voice? Let me prepare myself,” Leon chuckled and Lumina groaned.

“Stop simping over my brother’s voice Leon, that’s just _weird_ for me.” She said and then sighed, “Also, tell your girlfriend to stop texting me. I have no control over whether you’re in love with my brother’s voice or not. Oh and you better text your boyfriend before _he_ hears about this. And Fenix, tell your sister to stop simping for my brother’s voice in the comments, I _can_ see her.” Kaedan could basically hear the glare in her voice.

“Oh, don't worry. Risále just got home and when she hears his voice, she’ll understand. After all, Bella and I have not been able to shut up about it,” Leon was grinning, and Lumina groaned loudly. Kaedan laughed, it was quite amusing to see Lumina, who was normally the one teasing, on the other end.

Kaedan looked at the chat and was quite surprised to see that quite a lot of comments were talking about this “Xander” guy. Kaedan muted his mic before turning to the camera, reading the chat.

“No, I’ve never met him. Did they play with him while I wasn’t there?” He asked, and he saw in the chat that everyone was responding that it was the last two times they played. Kaedan realized that those were the two times he had to stay late at work, “Oh, I see, thank you, guys!” He smiled.

“Kaedan, are you going to take this slander? You’re supposed to be the honey-voiced gem of YouTube.” Owen said, teasingly.

“I’m supposed to be the fucking _what_?”

“Oh, he’s here! Hey, Xander,” Leon seemed to say slyly, and Kaedan heard some shifting, “Hold on, I’m taking my headphones off, Risále is here next to me. Now, let the internet hear the blessing that is Xander’s voice.” 

There was a moment of pure silence, before a sigh, “Leon, why do you _always_ do this to me?”

And Kaedan’s brain short-circuited, leaving him with just enough motor control to say, “¿Qué carajo?” 

There was another moment of silence.

“Oh my God, “Qué carajo” is correct. Baby, you’re telling me that you and Bella have been simping over this _without letting me and Hyun join in_?” Risále’s voice was a bit distant, if Kaedan’s brain was online, it would have told him that she was probably looking from over Leon’s shoulder. 

“Now can you stop harassing Lumina through text? And tell Hyun that, too. I think my reactions are _completely_ valid.” Leon asked her.

“As long as he keeps talking, God, I will not complain. Hey, Xander, I’m Leon’s girlfriend, and I’m joining the game right now. Leon, you’re not allowed to do anything until I’m on.” She said.

Leon chuckled, “Yes, Ma’am. Anyways, now do you understand why I said he has literally the most gorgeous voice?” He asked.

“Jesus Christ, it gets me every single time. Hey, Xander, how much do I have to pay for you to basically make a ten-hour-long video of you just speaking?” Mina asked and Kaedan mentally made a note that he could definitely use a link to that video if it ever happened.

“Hey. Hey, Kaedan. Kaedan. Are you still there?” Owen asked, noticing the man’s complete silence. Something in the back of Kaedan’s mind told him to respond but for some reason, his brain was too focused on the timbre of the newcomer’s voice, as he spoke to Lumina and Leon. 

He heard his door open and finally snapped out of his stupor and turned to look, only to see Owen standing at his door. “Are you okay?” The younger asked.

Kaedan tried to collect his thoughts before he could speak, but of course, his mouth worked faster than his brain, “¿Cómo carajo suena su voz así?" Was what came out of his mouth.

"Oh. _Oh._ Jesus, dude, that was _quick_ , even for Xander." Owen shook his head, leaving the door and closing it, "Yeah, he's fine. Give him a few seconds to process that there's someone with an even more gorgeous voice than him." Owen rolled his eyes. He'd better cover for his older brother before Kaedan exposed himself for being the simp that he is.

Kaedan was not secretive about much, in fact, the entire internet knew that he was into men. He wasn't secretive about the fact that he had started transitioning at sixteen with his mother's consent and had gotten all the surgeries within the first few months of turning eighteen. This had been revealed when a fan had asked about how he felt about his trans fans, and Kaedan had dropped this bomb. 

Although, to Owen, Kaedan was always Kaedan. Kaedan has always been his brother, whether it was before or after the transition. Kaedan remembered that those were the exact words Owen said before Kaedan went in for the surgery. Kaedan was not ashamed to admit that he had cried.

However, in the YouTube community, Kaedan was somewhat untouchable. He was oblivious to the fact the people were absolutely in love with his voice, and his personality just made him more lovable. He only had two responses to being flirted with, panic-flirting back or just getting flustered, and out of the two, the latter was more common. So, no one really saw Kaedan as the type to crush on people easily. However, Owen was the person who watched movies and shows with him and let's just say, there was no shortage of simping from either of them. A bit less from Owen, since he was in love with his best friend, but Kaedan wasn't in a relationship anymore.

"Hey, Nia just joined. Xander, meet Nia. Nia, Xander." Fenix's voice broke Kaedan's thought process. 

"Hey, what's up," And as Xander's voice vibrated through his headphones, it took all of Kaedan's self-control to stop his brain from shutting down. 

"Someone kick Kaedan, he's lost his crown for the best voice in this group," Nia said in a deadpan voice, and finally, Kaedan's brain stuttered back to life.

"W-What...I didn't-But I didn't say anything? You guys came up with that, I didn't even say it was true!" And he could swear he heard someone's breath catch but he blamed it on his absolute mess of a mind. He turned to look at the chat and cursed himself as he saw some of the comments.

" _Jesus, he really just completely zoned out,"_ said one comment.

" _Would you blame him? I mean, you can't say that wasn't your reaction when you first heard him playing with them,"_ another responded. 

_"And I thought Leon's reaction was the best. Kaedan has topped it by miles."_ And with that, he tore his eyes away from the comments.

"Nice to meet you, Xander. You...uh...You have a really nice voice." Kaedan said, wondering how a man's voice had managed to make him this flustered.

"Thank you, Kaedan. I can see why they call you the honey-voiced gem of YouTube," Xander's voice was smooth on Kaedan's "title".

"Well, I think I'm going to lose that title pretty soon, if I even had it," Kaedan muttered under his breath, "Which is kind of ridiculous since once again, I never agreed to it."

"I don't think it's a matter of agreeing or disagreeing, I think people just went with it because it's basically a fact," Xander said, and his deeper tone, for some reason, made everything sound much more...sensual? It was a rich baritone sound, and Kaedan just knew that if Xander was ever to sing with that voice, he might as well just perish.

"I-Wait, what?" His brain had just processed what Xander had said and somewhere in the back of his mind, he was screaming.

"Should we start? We have nine now, should be enough for a good game," Xander moved on before he could ask anything else.

 _I might make it awkward if I ask what he meant by that. Besides, he probably just said it in response to your compliment. I mean, hello, Kaedan, you heard his voice!_ With that thought, Kaedan decided to keep quiet, his eyes flickering over to the stream, _Right, and don't forget, you're also streaming live._

The game started, and Kaedan was relieved to see that he was a crewmate. Thank God. Last time, he had been imposter four times in a row, and even if he only got voted off once, it was still exhausting.

He ran straight past Leon into electrical to do his tasks there, and his breath caught as he saw someone run in. It was Xander. He waited for the inevitable kill action but it never came.

 _Oh shit, if he’s innocent, it might be suspicious that I’m not finishing my task_ , Kaedan realized and quickly finished his task, before high tailing it out of there. He watched as Xander walked out of the room too. “Huh, I guess he’s not an imposter then. He would have vented if he was.” He said out loud and walked out of sight. Then, he sighed, “Well great, looks like the imposter managed to get to lights again. He went back to electrical but there was no one there.

The moment he managed to get lights back on, the “Dead Body Reported” screen showed up, and when Kaedan took himself off of Deafen, there was pure chaos.

“The fucking _audacity_ -Who the _fuck_ did that?!” Owen was screaming and Kaedan winced as he heard it from his headphones and from the other room. Jesus, the kid was loud.

“What happened?” Kaedan internally shivered as Xander asked them exactly what he’d been thinking.

“Hey, love, do you want to explain yourself?” Fenix asked, his voice breathy from laughter.

“Wait-Fenix, I swear to god that wasn’t me! I thought-I thought it was Risále!” Owen’s voice was getting higher at the end, and Kaedan sighed.

“Don’t worry, you guys, I know Owen is innocent. Unless he’s figured out about his own “Tells” and is using that against me…” He said to the stream, then turned his attention back to the game.

“So, what exactly happened? I’m just really confused at this point,” Kaedan asked, and he heard Xander hum in agreement.

“Okay, so, I was in cams the whole time so I saw almost everything. Xander, Kaedan, where were you?” Leon asked.

“I was the one to fix lights,” Kaedan said, as he checked the stream, “So, Nia’s dead?” He added.

“Yeah, she’s the one the imposter killed off this round. Xander, where were you?” Leon asked, and Kaedan knew that he could probably figure out if Xander was an imposter or not. There was only so far Xander could have gotten without using vents.

“I was about to go into admin. I was coming from electrical. Ask Kaedan, he was there with me.” Xander said calmly, “Right, Kaedan?”

“Ah, y-yeah. I don’t think it’s Xander. I was doing my task and he could have easily killed me. No one came to electrical the whole time, and plus, I saw the green bar go up when he came out of electrical.” Kaedan said.

“Thanks, Kaedan,” Xander said, and Kaedan could almost imagine it was said with a smile. _God, he needs to stop talking to me specifically, I might spontaneously combust on camera if he keeps saying my name in that voice of his_.

“Alright, so if you’re done flirting,” Leon was momentarily interrupted by Kaedan’s sputtering and Mina’s giggles, “Nia, Fenix, Owen, and Risá were all in weapons and when lights went out, someone killed Nia. She was straight in the middle so no one has any idea what happened.” He explained.

“How do you know all of this? We didn’t even see you there. Leon is kinda sus,” Fenix said quickly.

“Are you-Are you dumb?” Owen asked in disbelief, “Babe, he told you he was in cams the whole time? That's the only reason he kind of saw what happened.” 

Kaedan looked at the comments, laughing at the ones that said, “ _Get you a relationship like Fenix and Owen, a dumbass and the damage control,_ ” and “ _They radiate pure chaotic gay energy”_.

“Yes, yes, they’re both idiots, but they’re our idiots. Moving on, Owen, what the fuck, it wasn’t me? Weren’t you the closest to her?” Risále asked. 

“I swear to God, it was not me, I’m just so confused, all four of us were there, the lights went off, Nia moved away for like a second and then she died. Whoever the fuck did it, they must be an actual genius.” Owen said.

“So, are we skipping the vote? We only have seven and you know, never vote on seven,” Xander asked thoughtfully.

“Wait, seven?” Leon asked, “Oh shit, when did she die?!” He half-yelled. Even Kaedan hadn’t noticed immediately that Lumina was dead. 

“We have ten seconds, should we skip the vote?” Kaedan asked softly, and everyone seemed to be in agreement.

“You know, I’m really stuck between Kaedan having the best voice and Xander. It’s like, Xander is the voice that I’d want to wake me up and Kaedan is the voice I’d want to put me to sleep.” Leon said, and Kaedan let out a slightly nervous laugh. _Oh God, don’t imagine that, don’t imagine that, don’t imagine that-_

“I have to agree with Leon,” Xander said, and Kaedan was ready to move on when his brain back-tracked. _Hold on, did he just say-_

During the next round, Kaedan ended up sticking with Mina and Owen. Suddenly, the “Dead Body Reported” screen showed up, and Fenix was yelling.

“Fenix just murdered Leon right in front of me and-Wait, when did Risále die?” Xander said, but cut himself off with his own question.

“No, wait, guys, listen to me, he just-I can’t believe this, Xander, are you sure this is only your third time playing?” Fenix said, almost hysterically laughing.

“Fenix, you’re not really helping your case here,” Kaedan said, holding back his own giggles, covering his mouth.

“He’s laughing way too hard to be innocent,” Owen said, and Kaedan could tell he’d given up on all attempts to hide his own laughter.

Xander, Mina, Kaedan, and Owen had all voted for Fenix while Fenix had voted for Xander. Needless to say, Fenix was ejected from the ship.

They weren’t even three seconds into being alien before Mina killed Kaedan, and the “Imposter Victory” screen showed up. There was a moment of silence, and all hell broke loose.

“It was Xander? What?!” Kaedan asked in pure disbelief. Xander had been the last person he’d expected. He’d had his suspicions about Mina, and then she’d killed him but Xander?

He was about to say something but the moment he heard Xander’s quiet laughter, his brain went on full-meltdown mode. _God, how is his laugh so cute?_ And honestly, most of the comments in his stream were along the same lines. 

“I thought I’d screwed myself over, oh my God,” Xander said, his voice light with laughter, “I killed Nia and Mina killed Lumina the first round. I thought you guys had seen me vent in and kill her!”

“Xander, that was some fucking 600 IQ level shit right there, how did you even pull it off?” Owen asked in disbelief.

“I don’t know if I was being really smart or if you guys were being really dumb, and then somehow, no one walked into Medbay the whole next round so no one found that I killed Risále there, and I just got so lucky that Fenix was just so suspicious to start with,” Xander continued.

“You guys have no idea how much I was screaming on mute like how did you all manage to sus everyone except for the guy who actually killed me!” Nia yelled.

“Well, in our defense, it was dark. And oh my God, Fenix’s reaction to the kill and self-report was so fucking funny,” Risále added.

“Wait, I thought you said Xander’s only played twice before this?” Kaedan asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“Yeah, it was only my third time playing. I don’t think I would have gotten away with it if Kaedan hadn’t cleared me at the start. So, thank you, Kaedan, I owe you,” He said, and oh, Kaedan could _definitely_ detect some teasing there.

Suddenly, Kaedan’s phone rang, “ _Hello? Kaedan, we need you to come in, we’ve got a patient and all the other therapists are taken. Can you do it?_ ” The familiar stressed voice of Kaedan’s boss at the clinic could be heard.

Kaedan sighed, “I’ll be there, just let me make sure my brother is set for tonight if I can’t come home until late,” He said, “Yeah, I’ll see you soon, bye, Miss Meilin,” He said and hung up.

“So, I’m guessing that’s a work call?” Owen asked through the mic. Kaedan simply sighed.

“I might be home late. You want to have Nia and Fenix over to keep you company?” Kaedan asked.

“Yeah, we could film a video or something. Now, go get ready, someone needs you,” Owen said.

“I’ll see everyone tomorrow. I should be able to play,” Kaedan said sweetly, and he heard the chorus of “Goodbyes”

However, of course, one stood out to him, “It was nice to meet you, honey-voiced gem of YouTube,” Xander said and-had his voice gotten deeper? Kaedan couldn’t tell.

“Y-Yeah, you too, Xander,” He responded quickly, before ending the live stream and leaving the voice channel. He took off his headphones and slumped back in his seat.

Then, with Xander’s voice ringing fresh in his mind, he shoved his face into his hands and groaned.

_Fuck, I’ve really screwed myself over this time, haven’t I?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "¿Qué carajo?" - "What the fuck?"  
> "¿Cómo carajo suena su voz así?" - "How the fuck does his voice sound like that?"


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mentions of abusive relationships and usage of firearms

The second time Kaedan heard Xander’s voice, it wasn’t officially their second time talking to each other. In fact, Xander had joined their games multiple times by now and was a regular addition to the group. No, this should more be called the second most memorable encounter that Kaedan had with Xander’s voice.

Kaedan sighed as someone-Risále-had finally found his dead body. “Well, I guess that settles that,” He muttered, and clicked on the ghost chat as soon as he heard everyone else who was still alive debating. He saw that there was a new message.

_ Xanderer_92: So, you’re dead as well. _

Kaedan giggled at the straightforwardness 

_ KaeDannie1993: Well, yeah. Who killed you? _

There was almost no hesitation before the response came back.

_ Xanderer_92: Nia.  _

_ KaeDannie1993: Me too. _

_ Xanderer_92: Oh fuck, just got a work call. Can you tell the others I had to go? _

_ KaeDannie1993: Oh, yeah, sure. I can do that. _

_ Xanderer_92: Text me when you guys play next. _

Kaedan was about to unmute and ask him what he meant by that before Xander entered the chatbox for him to turn off his screen share on the stream. Kaedan listened, and was surprised as a chain of ten numbers showed up on his screen.

_ Oh my God, is this his number- _ Kaedan was just about to scold Xander for the risk he was taking but by the time he was done noting down the number, the chat box was gone, the next round had begun, and Xander had left.

“Hey guys, Xander had a work call, he told me to tell you guys,” Kaedan said, trying to keep his voice from jumping up in pitch. 

“Oh, cool. Thanks for that, Kaedan,” He could hear the smirk in Lumina’s voice. What was she up to?

Wait. 

_ He literally lives with Lumina, why did he tell me?!  _ And of course, that was all Kaedan could think about for the next two days.

“Oh my God, Kaedan, you have his number, right? Just call him and ask him. Maybe that’ll lead to you  _ finally _ getting a date,” Owen said, and Kaedan glared at him from the other couch.

“Easy for you to say,” He gestured to the way Owen was comfortably tucked into Fenix’s side with his legs on Fenix’s lap, while one of Fenix’s arms was around him and the other was resting on the top of the back of the couch. They were pretty comfortably tangled, limbs lazily intertwined. Owen simply shrugged and tucked his head into the crook of Fenix's neck.

“Kaedan, what’s the worst that could happen? Just call him up and say hi or something,” Fenix said, switching through the channels.

“Um, he could think that I’m creepy? Or maybe he was just being nice to me and didn’t actually want to talk to me? I don’t know!” Kaedan said in frustration, shoving his head into his knees as he curled up in a ball.

“Bro, if he didn’t want to talk to you, why would he give you his number instead of just telling Lumina he was leaving the other day? It sounds more like he was trying to give you his number rather than for just convenience purposes,” Owen said in a deadpan voice.

“I-Wait. I could just ask him about that!” Kaedan said, and Owen was frankly, a bit jarred by the sudden excitement. He looked up and made eye contact with Fenix, who was looking down at him.

“Is he actually twenty-seven years old?” Fenix asked. Owen let out a giggle before nodding and Fenix sighed, “You need to stop being so adorable.” He pulled out his phone and texted someone something with one hand while he stroked Owen’s hair.

“What are you up to?” Owen asked, his voice slightly tired as his eyes flitted between Fenix’s face and his phone.

“Just going to give someone a bit of a push,” Fenix responded, holding Owen closer to him and pressing a kiss to his head.

Meanwhile, Kaedan was having what he might have thought was a heart attack. How was he supposed to start the conversation? What would he ask him? Wouldn’t it be weird for him to ask Xander why he had given his number to him? What if Xander thought  _ he _ was uncomfortable with it?

In all his panic, he had barely noticed his phone was already ringing, with the contact name,  _ Xander :), _ showing up. Kaedan almost dropped his phone in shock before finally managing to unlock the phone.

“H-Hello? Xander, is that you?” He asked, and immediately cursed mentally.  _ Of course it’s him, the contact name kind of gave it away, you idiot _ , Kaedan scolded himself. There was a moment of silence and Kaedan was contemplating whether jumping out his window was an actual possibility at this point.

“ _ You know, you’d think this wouldn’t be any different, and yet for some reason, your voice sounds even better through phone call than voice call _ ,” The deep, smooth voice that had been taking up a considerable part of Kaedan’s mind day and night didn’t stop the slight jolt that went through him when being confronted with it.

“... _ Kaedan _ ?” And oh, Kaedan was going to lose his mind. It was already bad enough that Xander seemed to like to personally talk to him during streams, he didn’t know if he could survive Xander constantly using his name if it were just the two of them.

“ ¿Y me estás diciendo que tengo una voz preciosa?” Kaedan muttered, thankful for the fact that Xander definitely couldn’t understand him.

“ _ I’m beginning to think I should learn Spanish, since you keep reacting in that language, _ ” Xander said teasingly, and Kaedan groaned.

“Please do not, I’ll probably turn into a human tomato at this point. I have like, zero filter when I’m speaking Spanish,” Kaedan said, and as he heard Xander laugh, he felt lighter, it was getting easier for him to talk.

“ _ I hope you realize that’s only motivating me to get  _ _ Risále to teach me some Spanish _ ,” Xander said, and Kaedan couldn’t help the giggles that left his mouth. He covered his mouth slightly, and now he knew for sure, he definitely heard Xander’s breath catch.

“ _ You know _ ,” Xander said slowly, “ _ Has anyone ever told you that you have a really enchanting laugh? _ ” He asked. 

Kaedan’s laugh stopped as his heart was beating faster and he was sure he was red. His silence seemed to be worrying Xander.

“ _ Kaedan? Kaedan, was that too far? Please tell me if I made you feel uncomfortable, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable _ ,” Xander asked worriedly.

“No...No, I-I’m fine I just-” Kaedan cut himself off sharply with a slight laugh, hoping he didn't sound as breathless as he felt, “I wasn’t expecting that, but you...uh...I like your laugh, too. It’s...um...it’s cute,” Kaedan said shyly. 

“ _ Thank you. How are you? I wanted to check on you. I understand if it’s not really my place but I remember you left the game the days we met to go to work, but it was pretty late. So I...Yeah. _ ” Xander sounded really unsure for the first time since Kaedan had heard him weeks ago.

“...You remembered?” Kaedan asked in disbelief. Kaedan was genuinely in a state of shock. How had a man who he had only heard the voice of managed to show him more respect than any of his previous partners?

" _ Yeah, of course. I meant to specifically ask what your job is since it seems like you can be called it any time...Unless I’m assuming too much _ ,” Xander said, and maybe it was just him but did Xander sound a bit breathless, too?

“I-Yeah. I work at the local psychiatric center. On call therapist,” He said, a little proud of that. 

“ _ Wow, that’s amazing. You have a doctorate?” _ Xander asked, and Kaedan realized he’d never actually mentioned that.

“Yeah, technically, I am a doctor. I don’t think I’ve really talked about it. I don’t know, it never seemed like a big deal to me,” Kaedan said, thoughtfully.

“ _ I think it’s a pretty big deal, especially considering how much effort and time you have to put in to go through medical school. You’re pretty awesome, Kaedan, _ ” Xander said.

“It's nothing much, honestly. Besides, I do it because I really do want to help people. You know, some of the stuff I hear just...I feel so exhausted by the end of the day. But I'd never give this up," Kaedan sighed, laying back on the couch in his office.

" _ Even better. A doctor who likes being a doctor. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm always here. And trust me, with my job, confidentiality is just as important as with your job," _ Xander let out a little laugh.

"What is your job, if you don't mind me asking?" Kaedan asked.

" _ Well, how about this, I'll give you a hint everytime we talk? Then, we can see if you can put it together."  _ Xander said, his voice teasing.

"Is this just a ploy to get me to keep calling you back?" Kaedan asked, raising an eyebrow.

“ _ Is it working? _ ” Xander asked, and Kaedan almost dropped the phone in surprise, cursing quietly under his breath. He could hear Xander’s gentle laughter and Kaedan could feel his face burning.

Such a pretty laugh.

“I-Yeah. I mean-It’s...uh...It’s working. Yeah, definitely working,” Kaedan fumbled his way through the sentence and sighed, annoyed at himself.

“ _ Good. That’s-That’s good. Well, as much as I’d love to keep talking, and I really would, _ ” Xander said, “ _ Sadly, my work is calling to me, untouched on the side of my desk _ .”

“Oh, I see, you’re one of those people who have a strange attraction to their work. Not judging, my friend, I feel the same way,” Kaedan joked.

“ _ Ah, my work and I have been married for over three years now. However, a divorce is in the works, so I’m definitely single and available, _ ” Xander said nonchalantly, and Kaedan had definitely choked on air. Was that-Was that a joke or was that literal? 

“Uh, yeah, me too. I mean, about the single and available part! Well...Technically the divorce to work part is true as well...In a few days, at least. I’m just going to be glad this case is over,” Kaedan sighed.

“ _ Need to talk about it? Following patient anonymity protocol, of course, _ ” Xander asked gently, but there was still a sense of teasing in his voice. Kaedan had only then realized how strange it was that he could recognize that in the other man’s voice.

“You are quite well rounded on the rules of the medical world, am I getting the hint that you are possibly in this field, too?” Kaedan asked, and Xander chuckled, and god, his laugh was going to be on repeat for the next week.

“ _ Hm, I think it would be alright for me to straight-up deny that. Not a doctor, although, I do have some knowledge on basic first aid and I have a psychology minor,” _ And for some reason, Kaedan’s brain said,  _ a man with a psychology minor, how sexy. _

_ Wait. I’m a psychology major though? _

Kaedan dismissed his thoughts, “Is that all I’m getting?” He asked, and Xander hummed in agreement, “Alright then, I won’t keep you any longer. The quicker you work, the quicker the divorce, am I right?” He asked.

“ _ Sounds a bit like you want this divorce to happen quickly, _ ” Xander chuckled and this time, Kaedan did drop his phone, “ _ See you around, Kaedan, _ ” And with that, Kaedan watched as the call ended on his phone. Then, he threw himself on the couch and groaned into a pillow.

God, this man was going to be the death of him.

The next time they’d managed to have a full conversation without one of them having to run off to answer a work call, it had been a week since the first time they’d called. And slowly, they were getting to know more about each other. More personal things. Xander had opened up about how after he had been heartbroken by his first love betraying him, he’d started going to bars and hooking up with people, even though he had stopped four years ago. Kaedan had opened up about how the stress of his terminally ill mother had caused him to develop a smoking habit, which he had gone to rehab for after Owen had convinced him, saying that their mother wouldn’t want this. Kaedan knew that Xander and Lumina’s parents had left when they were young, and they were raised by their asshole uncle and aunt. Xander knew that even though Kaedan didn't have the best memories of it, he did live in California for a while. He had even sent some pictures of some polaroids he had of San Francisco Bay.

Kaedan never thought he could get so close to someone he had never even seen the face of. However, after confirming with Fenix, Owen, and Mina, and hearing that each of them had met him had proven the man trustworthy. Mina had said to him, “You’re going to be surprised when you meet him.”

Kaedan was beginning to think that it was going to be more of a “if” he met him, rather than a “when” he met him.

It had been on his mind a lot, but he could never bring himself to ask Xander if he wanted to meet in person. What if he was offended? Maybe it would seem as though he didn’t trust Xander? Especially if Xander wasn’t comfortable with showing his face, Kaedan didn’t want to push him...

“ _ So, I just want to say that I hope you’re going through the same torture through Mina that I am with Lumina _ ,” Xander sighed through the phone, and Kaedan giggled, dropping his shoulder bag on the couch.

Owen looked at him from the couch, popcorn raised to his mouth as he raised an eyebrow, “Xander again?” He mouthed. Kaedan stuck his tongue out at him, and Owen rolled his eyes.

“Xander, give me a second,” Kaedan said, putting the man on hold, “Hey, sorry I’ve not been paying attention to you for like...a while,” He trailed off, wincing, “Yeah, I’m sorry, do you wanna go out for dinner?” 

“I’m fine, Kaedan, even though you’re my legal guardian, you have a life, too,” Owen laughed softly, “Keep talking to him, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you this way. I’m happy.”

Kaedan leaned over and ruffled Owen’s hair, “And what do you mean by that?” He asked, as Owen tried pushing him away.

“You have this certain smile when you really have feelings for someone...It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that. I’m glad you’ve moved on, Kaedan, you deserve it,” Owen said, seriously.

“Okay, dude, keep talking and I swear to God, I’m going to cry,” and with that, Owen groaned and shoved Kaedan’s hand away.

“Shouldn’t you be talking to your boyfriend? You said you’d only be gone for a second,” Owen grinned slyly, and Kaedan choked on air.

“H-He’s not my-Owen, fucking hell, Jesus,” He managed to get out between coughs. Taking pity on him, Owen patted his back, and sighed.

“You owe me a home-cooked dinner though!” Owen called after Kaedan as the man walked away. Kaedan only flipped him off, finally taking the phone off mute.

“Sorry, I’m back. I just haven’t really been spending much time with Owen in between work and other stuff going on and I just felt bad,” Kaedan said, starfishing onto his bed.

“ _ I haven’t been one of those reasons, have I? Like, please don’t think you’re being rude if you need to tell me you need to go, I completely understand, I don’t want to get in the way of you and your brother-”  _ Xander started saying, and Kaedan felt some warmth at the worry in his voice. That was another thing. All of Kaedan’s exes had tried to shove Owen out of his life but Xander...He respected their bond as siblings.

“No, no, it’s more that I’ve been overworking. And it’s just a lot going on, mentally, I guess,” He sighed, resting his hand on his forehead.

“ _ Want to talk about it or do you want me to distract you? _ ” Xander asked, and Kaedan thought about it for a while.

“It’s...It’s about a specific case. I-Someone that I know is going to possibly be released on parole. And uh-That’s just not very good for me,” Kaedan laughed nervously with the last sentence.

“ _ Oh. Is this about Mina’s brother? _ ” Xander asked, and Kaedan had to admit he was a bit surprised. He didn’t think that Mina would have told him about her brother already, “ _ There were some extreme circumstances. The simplest way to say it is I have, unfortunately, met him, _ ” He added.

“You know about everything?” Kaedan asked. He wasn’t sure if Mina had told Xander about  _ everything _ , including his involvement. He wanted to make sure.

“I know all about Mina’s side but I don’t know the details of your involvement. All I know is you were affected by it and eventually you got her out of there,” Xander said, and Kaedan felt...Well...He didn’t know. He was hesitant to talk about it again but some part of him  _ wanted _ to tell Xander. 

“ _ You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to _ ,” Xander said, as if reading his mind, “ _ It’s your choice, and if you really don’t want to talk about, we can talk about something else instead _ .”

For some reason, it was those words said in that gentle, calming voice that sealed the deal for Kaedan. He took a deep breath.

“Mina’s brother...I dated him, two years ago. I don’t know why I did, maybe it was because I was so desperate for a relationship, or because of all the attention he showered on me. I didn’t know about the extreme side of it at that time. Mina was wary but more because she was afraid her brother would hurt me, but since she didn’t see anything wrong at first, she let it go. The relationship was actually...fine, at the start. It got worse really quick though. It started with possessiveness. I thought it was just general jealousy and I brushed it off, but it got worse and worse. Mina had seen the...bruises...and bites….and marks.” Kaedan hesitated when saying that, and he could feel the returning feeling of shame and embarrassment he felt after the other man had been put in jail.

He didn’t know whether he wanted Xander to respond or not, he didn’t know what response would even help, so he decided to keep talking, “She was...upset to say the least. I was only with him for barely a month when Mina put her foot down and told me that I had to break up with him for my own safety. I trusted Mina more than I did Julian, I’d known her for longer, and she knew her brother better than I did. But it-it didn’t go well. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him and I-I wasn’t expecting it so I couldn’t even fight back. He jerked my arm so hard that I tripped over the coffee table and my legs just gave out. He...He grabbed by the neck and pulled me up and he was squeezing my throat so hard there were marks for days after and he told me that I wasn’t allowed to break up with him. Being the idiot that I was, I bit back at him. He punched me, gave me a black eye, broke my nose, then kicked me, breaking my leg, and-” Kaedan wheezed as it got hard for him to breathe. He hadn’t heard anything. He didn’t even know if Xander was listening, if Xander even  _ cared _ about this until-

“ _ Hey, hey, I’m still here. Kaedan, can you hear me? Kae, if you can hear my voice, ring the bell on your desk. _ ” Xander’s voice came through, calm, soothing, but strong. Kaedan stumbled slightly to get a grip on the bell before ringing it, “ _ Okay, okay, good. Now listen to me, I need you to take deep breaths, alright? In, out. In, out. _ ” Xander instructed him and Kaedan started calming down. It took him about three minutes even though it felt like an hour.

“I’m-I’m okay now.” Kaedan breathed out, finally calming down. It had been so long since he had actually spoken about it since his therapy sessions back then. Even then, he hadn’t even gotten to finish, when financial issues came in. 

“ _ Are you-Are you sure? We don’t have to keep talking about this if it’s too much, I really don’t mind. _ ” Xander said concernedly.

“No...I think I’m alright. Just...I haven’t talked about this properly since the actual court case. I just...The next part might be a bit hard for me to get through...I really do want to tell you though!” Kaedan insisted, then blushing at how sure he’d sounded.

“ _ Take all the time you need, alright? I’m not going anywhere, and anytime you need to stop, tell me, _ ” Xander said gently, coaxing him into a more calm state.

“Mina had somehow managed to bust the door down and started screaming at him. I didn’t know what they were saying, it just all turned into ringing noise in my ear. I could basically make out that Mina was telling him to get away from me and he...Well, the opposite of that. And then I felt him press it to the back of my head. I swear, my life flashed before my eyes. I just...I hadn’t talked to Owen in so long and I didn’t want to...to die without telling him how much I love him. He would be alone. Completely alone. And then, Mina pulled out one too, I don’t even know how she got it. And then I could hear police sirens getting closer and Mina told him that if he ran now, they wouldn’t catch him. He took the bait.”

There was a moment of silence and Xander seemed to be considering what to say, “ _ How did you feel? _ ” He asked quietly.

“Honestly? Numb. I couldn’t feel anything,” Kaedan sighed. He was surprised he hadn’t scared Xander off already, but from what he’d gathered, Xander was exposed to things like this often due to his work, “Mina told me that the lawyer who settled the case for us caught him, apparently he predicted where he would run to and had the police there already. I gave a video testimony and left for Portugal with Owen before the trial. I came back two months after he was sentenced. I worked with the lawyer to get Mina away from her family, though we never actually met. I kind of wish we had though. I met to thank him for everything he did for us,” Kaedan said thoughtfully.

“ _ I’m sure he knows, especially as someone who’s dealt with these sorts of cases, I can say he definitely understands, _ ” Xander said softly. Kaedan hummed gently in agreement.

“I don’t have to be there tomorrow. They said I don’t have to go to court, and I honestly don’t think I would be able to make myself go there. I don’t ever want to see Julian Rowlock again. I’m just...worried they might actually let him go. The Rowlocks have heavy influence.” Kaedan sighed.

“ _ Do you know the name of your lawyer? I’ve-Uh, I’ve worked with quite a few before, maybe I’ve heard of him? _ ” Xander asked.

“Oh, yeah, maybe. His name was Mr. Liu, or at least, that’s as much as I know.” Kaedan said, realizing he’d never asked for the lawyer’s real name.

“ _ Ah, I’ve worked with him before. Don’t worry, Kae, _ ” There was a feeling of determination in Xander’s voice, something that gave Kaedan a push of hope, “ _ He won’t let you get hurt, he’ll make sure that bastard stays in jail, no matter what. _ ”

Kaedan smiled, “I believe you. Make sure you tell him to not let his guard down. Julian is smart, but I bet Mr. Liu is smarter,” He said.

He was quite surprised when he heard Xander start coughing. “ _ I’m alright, I just-Uh, drank my coffee wrong, I’m fine, _ ” Xander said, reassuring you.

“If you say so. Now, I’m gonna go start working on dinner for me and Owen,” Kaedan said, getting off his bed.

“ _ Alright, I’ll talk to you later, Kae _ ,” Xander said, and Kaedan could feel the warmth in his words warm his face. It was only when Xander hung up the phone that Kaedan finally noticed.

“Kae? When did that happen?” He asked, covering his face with his hands for what felt like the hundredth time in the past two weeks. He could feel the heat radiating off of his own face and he sighed, “If this is what I’m like just hearing his voice, how am I going to react if I actually meet him?”

Meeting Xander...Would that even be possible? Would the other man want to meet? Obviously not now, Xander had told him the upcoming days were going to be extremely busy for him at work.

Speaking of which, Kaedan still didn’t know what Xander’s job was.

Suddenly, his phone went off, alerting him to a text. Kaedan scrambled to open it and on the screen, he had a text from Xander, “ _ I forgot to tell you the hint. I did mention it before, but I’ve worked with lawyers before. Sweet dreams, Kae <3 _ .”

And if Kaedan had indeed screamed into his pillow, no one needed to know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "¿Y me estás diciendo que tengo una voz preciosa?" - And you're telling me I have a gorgeous voice?


	3. Three

**3.**

When Kaedan next heard Xander’s voice at an important time, he didn’t even know it. In fact, he only realized it days after. But, he couldn’t really be blamed, after all, this was simply  _ not _ Kaedan’s day.

It started off bad and only seemed to get worse from there. First, he wakes up late and almost misses his first client’s appointment (he preferred calling them clients rather than patients, and they like hearing that too) And then he was assigned to a teenage girl, which in itself, was not a problem.

In fact, she seemed like a lovely young girl, simply plagued by her anxiety, which Kaedan would have been happy to help her with. No, no, this was not about the girl.

It was about  _ her mother _ .

From the moment the woman walked in, Kaedan was already wary and on high alert. This woman carried the exact air of the "I want to speak to the manager" Karen, but Kaedan thought to himself,  _ you are an adult. Don't judge her before you meet her. _

As he rounded the corner, he could hear the young girl saying quietly to her mother, "Please don't do anything that might make him mad. He's one of the few people that actually took this seriously."

Her mother snappily responded, not even looking up from her phone, "Don't tell me what to do, Adrienne. If I don't like him, we're not seeing him." And Kaedan could feel his eye twitch at that.

_ I am an adult. I am a grown man. I will not let this lady rile me up before I have even met her. _ And with that repeating like a mantra in his head, Kaedan pasted his diplomatic smile on and headed towards the two of them.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Hernandez, but I go by Kaedan to those who I will be working with. You must be Adrienne?" He asked, holding his hand out to her. She shook it, giving him a small nervous smile. He turned to hold out his hand to Adrienne's mother but she simply looked at her watch impatiently.

"Can we get a move on? Adrienne has swimming practice in an hour and we'd rather not waste our time," The woman said and walked past him. Kaedan sighed quietly and followed, directing them in the right direction.

"So, you said you're having issues with your anxiety?" Kaedan asked Adrienne, looking over her personal survey.

“Yes, uh...I-I’ve been struggling with it for a while now and I-” Adrienne began nervously as if expecting something to happen. And of course, something did. Her mother put her phone away and looked disapprovingly at her daughter.

“Adrienne, speak up, and say it already. We don’t have all day,” The woman said, and without even giving Adrienne a chance to speak, she turned to Kaedan, “I don’t know what’s wrong with her, she has great grades, is doing so many activities, and she is almost always top of everything. What could possibly be making her unhappy? She won’t even tell me,” She said in a matter of fact tone.

Kaedan took a deep breath, “Ma’am, I’d prefer it if she could answer the questions herself. If not, I can get one of the other nurses to do a mental wellness check while we wait outside.” He said sternly, and the woman kept quiet for now.

“Alright, Adrienne, are you comfortable talking with your mother in the room, or would you like her to leave? If you’re uncomfortable with being alone with me, I can get another nurse to assist you,” Kaedan asked her gently.

Adrienne looked between him and her mother nervously, and her mother opened her mouth, “How ridiculous! Of course, I will be here while she talks about it!” She burst out, unable to control herself. Kaedan raised an eyebrow and looked at her.

“Ma’am, if you keep interrupting her, she cannot talk about her problems, on top of that,” Kaedan shuffled through his papers, “She is seventeen. Adrienne can make the choice to keep the information from you as patient privacy.”

“I-I’d like my mother to leave the room, please,” Adrienne piped up, and her mother looked at her in shock.

“It’s not a surprise, Ma’am. Most children prefer their parents to leave because their answers can be influenced simply by the presence of their parents,” Kaedan said, and stood up, directing her to the door. 

“This is-I am appalled by this! You, you-” The woman began shouting and Kaedan could feel his patience thinning. He turned to Adrienne.

“Would you prefer to talk to me or another nurse?” Kaedan asked her softly, and Adrienne responded that she’d prefer to talk to him. As a nurse finally came by and escorted the lady out of the room, Kaedan sighed in relief, collapsing into his chair.

“I’m...I’m sorry about her...She can be a bit overbearing...At the best…” Adrienne murmured, her words trailing off towards the end.

“It’s not your fault, sweetheart. I just have a couple of questions to ask you, is that alright? I just want to find a couple of your stressors so we can work on that,” Kaedan said gently, coaxing her.

“Oh, that’s okay. Thank you. Most of the other people my mom has taken me to see have just said that I just need to get through and that I was raised much easier,” Adrienne said honestly. 

Kaedan sighed before responding, “And I’m guessing that these were people that she “knew personally” or “looked into herself”, am I right?” He asked, and chuckled a bit at the girl’s immediate agreement, nodding her head so quickly he thought she might snap her neck.

“She...She says she wants the best for me, but she doesn’t ever ask what I want. It just...It built up over the years and I can’t do anything without being worried.” Adrienne looked like a weight had been released from her shoulders, and Kaedan smiled softly. Once they begin talking, it all comes out like a waterfall. It’s the “begin talking” that normally takes a while, but he was beginning to think that Adrienne was at her wit’s end with her mother.

“Alright, well, just to make sure, I do want to ask you this: Are you afraid of your mother because of anything she’s done to you or anyone else?” The first thing Kaedan needed to make sure was if she was in an abusive household. He had social services saved to every phone he had, be it home, work, landline, etc. 

“Um...Not exactly...It’s more things that she’s...said,” Adrienne said, and Kaedan could see her mentally building up her walls of protection. Probably would be better to address this later if she’s not in any physical danger at that moment.

“Your mom talked about you having swim practice, are you on the swim team at your school?” Kaedan asked. Normally, he tried to talk to kids about things that they liked to do, and extracurricular activities, because they’d get excited. But one look at Adrienne’s face told him a lot, “Do you not enjoy swimming?”

“It’s not that I don’t...enjoy it. I just-I never wanted to do it competitively. All the eyes on me, everyone counting on me, everyone in the family talking about my wins and losses, and it’s just too much, always too much,” Adrienne seemingly curled in on herself, and he saw her twitching leg.

“Do you want to pull your legs up on the chair? I don’t mind,” Kaedan said, and the girl let out a sigh of relief, closing in on herself. Kaedan knew it would take some effort to work her out of the habit of physically closing herself off but he knew it would be better to let her be comfortable for now.

“Are you doing this because your mother is forcing you?” Kaedan asked, and Adrienne hesitated a moment before nodding. Kaedan sighed and wrote something down, “I think I might want to do a mental wellness check on your mother too, I’m a bit worried for both of you at this point.”

“Maybe...Maybe that’s actually a good idea-” Adrienne began to say softly, but she and Kaedan were both startled as the very woman they were talking about barrelled into the room. 

“Adrienne, we are leaving. I’m not comfortable letting you talk to this...guy,” She looked him up and down in disgust and grabbed Adrienne’s wrist in a tight vice. Adrienne looked genuinely confused and a little bit scared, and a frazzled nurse, one of Kaedan’s co-workers named Yiren, ran in after her.

She met his eyes and he could see the apology in them as she mouthed, “ _ She recognized the flag _ ,” Ah. The flag. Kaedan sighed, and it made sense to him, after all this was not the first time something like this had happened. The pastel blue, pink, and white striped flag sometimes caused problems, and while Kaedan couldn’t make any of his clients ignore the flag, he could still give it a shot.

“Ma’am, before you make a final decision, I’d like to remind you that no matter what my gender maybe, I am still a licensed doctor. Me being transgender does not affect my ability to advise people,” Kaedan said slowly, but the woman cut him off sharply.

“I don’t have the time or patience for this. We’re leaving, Adrienne, if he hid the fact that he was...that...then he could be hiding a lot of other things,” She said, her voice growing louder. Kaedan cringed, this was going to be  _ quite  _ the topic in the clinic for the next few days.

“Ma’am, technically…” Yiren jumped in, “He isn’t required to tell you that information. You don’t have the right to ask for all his personal information,” She finished.

The woman was turning red with anger and Kaedan simply wanted to get this over with, “Ma’am, if you want to keep your daughter away from me, that’s fine, I’m sure Yiren would be happy to help you find someone else-” He said, sighing.

“If this place is so desperate as to hire the likes of  _ you _ , then I doubt any of the other doctors are any better,” The woman scoffed, and Kaedan could feel his eye twitching. He loved this little clinic, and damn it, he was not going to deal with anyone who insulted it. 

It seemed that Yiren had the same idea, as she put her hand on the woman’s shoulder, her grasp tight, “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave now if you refuse to take this seriously and treat our doctors and friends with disrespect,” She said, and began to pull the woman out.

The woman went to grab Adrienne, but Kaedan was quicker in getting her attention, “Adrienne, would you mind talking with me for two minutes?” He asked her, and the woman’s hand just missed her wrist. Yiren assured the woman that this would be quick.

“I’m very sorry, Adrienne, I can’t do much without a parent’s consent. However, I did want to ask you, do you go to the local high school?” He asked her gently, trying to calm her down from her mother’s outburst.

“Y-Yes, I do,” She said quietly, fidgeting.

“I work as a student therapist there. Complete secrecy unless I believe you’re in any physical danger due to your mental health and no parental consent required. It might not be as professional, but it’s a safe space, and I can forward you the details of our therapy group and when we meet,” He said and watched as Adrienne almost sank in relief. She quickly wrote down her email on a piece of paper and let out a quiet “thank you”. 

“No problem, and once your eighteenth birthday comes around, feel free to talk to Yiren and schedule an appointment here. Whether it’s me or any other doctor, we’d be happy to help,” Kaedan said, “You should probably go before your mother decides to call the police on me. That never goes well,” He sighed.

“O-Oh. Yes. Um, goodbye,” Adrienne said, and she looked like she was hesitating to say something. She began to walk towards the door, and as Kaedan shuffled through his paperwork, she turned around, “Um-I just wanted to say...What my mom said was wrong, and you-you deserve a lot more respect for what you’ve probably gone through. You’re..Um...pretty awesome,” She said nervously.

Kaedan laughed softly, “Thank you, Adrienne. Don’t worry about it, I don't take it personally. It’ll take a while for people to get used to an idea that seems so out of the norm in their everyday life,” He said, and he felt wiser than his years.

Adrienne nodded, and for the first time since stepping into the clinic, she smiled.

If that was the only thing that happened in Kaedan’s day, he would have been alright. A few transphobic comments weren’t anything he wasn’t used to. However, while working late, he completely forgot that he was supposed to pick up Owen from the cafe the Fenix normally played at.

When he finally checked his phone, he cursed and scrambled to pack up his stuff when he read, “ _ Fenix had to stay at the hospital to completely finalize Bella’s release and where she’s staying, so the gig is canceled. I know you’re probably still working, just let me know when you can pick me up. If it takes too long, I can always take one of the buses back _ .” 

No way in  _ hell _ he was having his sixteen-year-old brother getting on public transport late at night. He texted back a quick, “Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be there soon,” and managed to get out a quick, “Owen-Emergency-He’s alone, I need to go get him-” Yiren covered his mouth.

“Go. Miss Meilin will understand,” She said and Kaedan felt his shoulders relax in relief and rushed out the door, flinging his bag into the passenger seat as he hauled ass to the cafe. It didn’t even take him very long to get there, as he floored it in about ten minutes. When he checked his phone, he was alarmed by the words that he saw.

“ _ Mama is making dinner. _ ”

Owen and Kaedan had a code. If they were in a situation where they were being watched and needed to text for help, they’d say something like “Mama is making lunch” or “Mama is doing the laundry”. The moment one of them used their mother in the present tense, they knew something was wrong. 

He shoved the car door open so hard that it almost swung off its hinges and booked it into the cafe. As soon as he walked in, he was greeted by a scene that made his blood boil. A familiar older man had a tight grip on Owen’s arm and was trying to pull him away, while another man, this one very tall and in a suit and wearing a face mask covering his nose and mouth, was sitting in the booth and had a firm grip on the older man’s wrist.

“Oh, no you fucking don’t,” Kaedan muttered angrily under his breath as he stormed over, feeling the strength of a hundred hellhounds in him. 

Owen had finally caught sight of him, almost wrenching his hand away when gasping out Kaedan’s name. Both of the men, the one in the mask and the older man reflexively pulled their hands away, the one in the mask quickly got up and ushered Owen towards the inside of the booth while he blocked him with his body.

Kaedan grabbed the older man, as the familiarity made him even angrier, “Didn’t I tell you to stay away from them?” He growled, his hands tight on the collar of the man’s shirt. The man looked truly surprised, but he could see the film of hatred glossing over his eyes.

“Oh, it’s you. You’re the bitch that stole Fenix and Mirabella from us-” Before the man could even finish his sentence, Kaedan interrupted him.

“No, I did not steal them from anyone. If you hadn’t been such shit guardians, then they never would have come to me begging for me to help them get away from you. I can’t believe you’re their fucking uncle, you bastard!” Kaedan yelled.

“Why the hell are you getting involved? He’s Fenix and Mirabella’s friend and he knows me very well, why do you always get in the fucking way?” The man sneered, pointing towards Owen.

“Listen here, buddy,” Kaedan said, his voice threateningly calm, “I’m pretty sure you don’t realize it, but let me tell you, you’ve fucked up big time, picking on him. Owen would never do anything to endanger Fenix or Belle. You’ve chosen the wrong kid to fuck with.” 

“And why’s that? All I asked him was to come to hang out at home so that Fenix and Mirabella might come home too-” The man had chosen the absolutely wrong thing to say.

“Sir, I have to interject. I’ve been in this cafe and you have not been “asking” him to do anything. You asked once. He very clearly told you no and told you to leave him alone. You completely ignored him, sat down with him, and made him extremely uncomfortable. And then, when I came over to ask if everything was alright, you blatantly lied and said he was your nephew. When you walked away five minutes ago, I asked this young man if he knew you and he told me everything. And when he tried to tell you again he wasn't going anywhere, you forcefully grabbed him and tried to drag him out of here. So, no, I do not believe you simply "asked" him to go with you." The masked man said, and Kaedan was surprised, he hadn't expected the masked man to be of any help, but that all went out the window as the words settled in.

"My good sir, you have made an absolutely terrible choice by telling me all of that," Kaedan said, facing the masked man and without warning, he turned around and swung his fist, punching Fenix’s uncle in the face, “Because I am his older brother and guardian, you bastard.”

There was a sickening crack as the man fell to the ground from the force of the punch and Kaedan shook out his wrist, “Now, I suggest you get out of my sight because I won’t be able to hold myself back in thirty seconds,” He growled, and Fenix’s uncle shamefully scrambled to get up, holding the bridge of his bleeding nose and tripped his way over to the door of the cafe.

“Oh, and Mr. Callahan?” Kaedan asked in a tone so sweet that the man was compelled to turn back and look at him. 

Kaedan was still smiling, but his eyes had a steely glare to them, almost driving holes through the man where he stood, “If you even  _ try _ to come near Owen, Fenix, or Belle again, you can be sure that you will find yourself in jail in the next 24 hours. I work quickly, and I suggest you don’t get on my bad side,” And with that, the man rushed out the door and Kaedan sighed in relief. He turned back to see the masked man had moved out of the way so Owen could hug him. He held the boy tightly, whispering apologies for being late.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m glad you got here in time,” He said. Kaedan could barely sense the masked man move away and come back, holding something in his hand.

“Here,” The man said, and he handed a small cup with a covered lid, “Careful, it can burn. If you still want that hot chocolate,” He said, putting it on a table.

Kaedan let go of Owen, a hand still on his shoulder, “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done. Would you-Can I buy you anything? Or if you’d like any repayment-” Kaedan began to say as he pulled out his credit card, but the man put his hand on Kaedan’s and pushed it away, shaking his head.

“If something like this happened to my little sister, I’d pray to God for someone to jump in and help her. Older brother’s code. No need for repayment. Just...don't overwork yourself,” And when Kaedan looked into his eyes, they seemed almost all-knowing, and the golden hue seemed somehow familiar. Come to think of it, even the voice, although muffled, seemed somewhat familiar but Kaedan couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Alright...Just...Thank you, so much,” Kaedan said softly, and even under the face mask, Kaedan could tell he was smiling.

“Good night, both of you. Stay safe,” He said, before moving past them and walking out the door. It was only when the door closed that Kaedan realized something. He told Owen to wait there and rushed out the door onto the doorstep of the cafe.

“Wait, what’s your-” He looked out to see that there was no one there. In the distance, he could see headlights fading away and sigh, “-name.” He finished his sentence and walked back in. 

When he got over to Owen, the boy handed him another cup, “Looks like that guy ordered you something in advance. The waitress said it was for you, “ He said. Kaedan took it and to his surprise, he saw something written on it.

_ LiuXion@gmail.com _

“How weird...Normally people leave a phone number,” Kaedan mused, as he pulled out his phone to type it into his inbox. He was surprised to see that he had been emailed by that contact in the past. Before he could check though-

“Can we-Can we go home? I don’t want to be here right now,” Owen said quietly, and Kaedan put away his phone, kissing him on the head. They both headed out towards the car.

“Of course. And we can watch whatever you want. Do you want to stop by that Aldi nearby and get some ice cream? Candy? Anything? Wait, did you eat yet?” Kaedan knew his parental side was coming out strong.

“Calm down, Kaedan, I haven’t eaten yet. Can we stop by the Thai place though? I'm feeling some take out.” Owen smiled, and Kaedan closed the car door to the passenger seat and got into the drivers seat.

It took them barely five minutes to get the takeout, Owen ordering on Kaedan’s phone while the elder drove. 

“If you’re okay talking about it, what happened?” Kaedan asked slowly, “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to right now.” He added.

“No, no, I’m fine. He wanted me to go back to Fenix’s old home because I guess if I went there, then he was so sure that Fenix would go back too. I wasn’t scared of him, I’m pretty sure I could hold him off, and plus, you have the tracker. If I’m being honest....” Owen sighed, “...I was more scared that Fenix might actually come. And that would be a whole different issue.”

“I’m not going to deny that. He would have gone for you, which is why we need to do something about this. I doubt my threats are enough to keep him away for long-” Kaedan cut himself off as he saw multiple police cars rushing in the opposite direction from him. He pulled over to make way and the two watched as the cars sped by.

“What is going on today? What a mess,” Kaedan sighed, finally pulling back onto the road to continue on.

About two hours later, Kaedan had seen that Owen had fallen asleep on the couch. They were only two-thirds of the way through the sixth episode of the show they were watching, with interesting commentaries, such as, “Do you  _ see  _ that intense eye contact, my God they’re making it so obvious,” or, “Why does the brother keep pushing for it so much,  _ what does he know _ ?” and, “He’s an idiot. An absolute oblivious idiot. He literally fought against his own people for you, obviously, he cares about you!”

In the end, Owen had basically passed out after the fifth episode they watched and Kaedan didn’t really see a point in continuing. He sighed and paused Netflix, turning off the TV. He got up careful as to not wake up Owen and slowly picked him up, carefully kicking open the door with the younger’s name painted on it. Gently, he rested Owen on his bed and pulled the blanket on top of him.

“I swear, that guy is never going to come near you, Fenix, or Belle ever again. I’ll make sure of it, he said quietly, stroking Owen’s hair, “Good night, kiddo.”

He left the room and suddenly, he remembered the email on the cup. As he got to his room, he opened up his email and clicked the first email he was sent from that account. He almost gasped as he saw what the email read.

“ _ Hello, Mr. Hernandez. My name is Xion Liu. I have heard that you would like my help in getting Minakshi Rowlock out of a toxic and abusive household? I would be honored to help if that is what you would like _ .”

Kaedan dropped his phone for what must have been the fourteenth time that week.  “Did-Did I just meet Mr. Liu? Wait, if he said that Xion was his name, then why did I say I don’t know his name?” He scrolled down a bit to track the conversation.

His own email read, “ _ Would we be able to keep the communication in email only? I’ll be in Portugal for a while and I’m not sure I’m ready to be on camera again after filming my testimony. How should I address you? Is Xion your first name, or would you prefer I refer to you as Mr. Liu? _ ”

The response was, “ _ Of course, whatever you’re most comfortable with is completely fine with me. I can’t imagine how you must feel. If you need any resources or would like me to recommend a therapist, I’d be happy to help. Anything to make this process easier for you. My team and I are already looking into evidence that could possibly Minakshi to keep her inheritance while not being forced to stay under the same roof as her family. And no, Xion is not my real name, it’s more similar to a pen name. I make a lot of enemies, so I keep anonymous to protect my family.  _

“ _ Well, that’s something we have in common. Making a lot of enemies, I mean. I’ll call you Mr. Liu, then? _ ” Was Kaedan’s response to that email.

“ _ Sounds good to me. I’m glad to be working with you, Kaedan Hernandez _ .”

“Well, that explains that,” Kaedan said out loud, turning off his phone and placing it to the side, falling back on his bed, hands covering his eyes, “Oh my God, that guy was Mr. Liu, I-” He shot up again and opened his email. He scrolled down to the bottom and clicked on the reply button, the last reply dating to almost a year and a half ago.

“ _ I meant to thank you, Mr. Liu. For everything you’ve done for me and the people, I care about. I don’t know if you’ll read this or remember me, but I’m the man from the cafe, the one whose brother you protected. Thank you. It seems that you found a way to help me again _ ,” He typed, adrenaline fueling him, and without hesitation, he hit send.

Then, he went back, read the email, and almost screamed.

“Was that too much? What if he thinks I’m weird? I mean, he did give me his email but then again, I could be mistaking-” Suddenly, Kaedan’s phone rang.

“Hello?”

“ _ We won, Kaedan. _ ”

“Xander?” Kaedan sat up immediately at that voice, his heart leaping into his throat, “Won what?”

“ _ Mr. Liu won the case. Julian Rowlock was given a life sentence, no bail or pardon.”  _ Xander said, and Kaedan didn’t realize he had started sobbing until he heard Xander panicking over the phone, “ _ Kae? Are you alright? Do you need help? _ ” The man asked, worried.

“No, no, I’m just...happy. Relieved. God, this day scared me so much and I was scared of him and now I’m-I’m finally rid of him.” Kaedan laughed, wiping away his tears, “This feels unreal.”

“ _ It is real. I promise, Kae. You’re safe now.” _ Xander said, with such a tenderness in his voice that made Kaedan scared.  _ I really hope he feels the way he sounds because I’m just so far gone for him _ , he thought,

“You do seem to be the type to keep your promises, Xander...Wait, isn’t your last name Liu?” Kaedan asked, slightly confused. He could hear distant yelling and something happening in the background, “And what is going on over there?”

“ _ Oh, you know how courts can get, a bit rough and messy. We’re alright though. Liu’s a pretty common name, if that’s what you’re implying, Mr. Hernandez. _ ” Xander said teasingly

“Sorry! I’m not implying anything, I was just curious…” Kaedan was blushing furiously and he heard Xander’s laughter.

“ _ Hey, I’m not offended. It makes sense. Look, Kaedan, I’ll call you in the morning, things are getting a bit rowdy over here. Sweet dreams, Kae. _ ” Xander said, and Kaedan managed to pull himself together long enough to whisper a “good night”.

And when Kaedan saw the news headline the next morning that read, “ _ Lawyer Xion Liu finds evidence child abuse and neglect from Matthew and Imelda Callahan; case to be taken to court _ .” No one could blame him when he immediately opened his email.

“ _ Thank you so much. For everything. _ ”

This time, he got a response within two minutes.

“ _ Of course. I remember you and I know who you are. The real question is, do you know who I am? _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was the show Supernatural or The Untamed? Even I don't know
> 
> Hopefully, The Untamed, because after what happened in Supernatural, my answer is simple no.


	4. Four

**4.**

The next important appearance of Xander's voice in Kaedan's life, it had been a good day. Well, not a good enough day that Kaedan wasn’t a true fool, but a good enough day where his brain was at least functioning slightly better than it was when the fiasco at the cafe went down. He was off work today, thankfully, _someone_ (Yuzhan), had finally agreed to cover some of his shifts for him to make up for all the times Kaedan covered for him working on whatever side hustle he had going on. Kaedan had enough on his plate. He didn’t need to get involved in anything major, or as the rumors said, the Mafia. Definitely not what he needed.

So, Kaedan decided to start his day off by heading to the local cafe, a different one from where he’d picked up Owen. Nothing was better than a day started in a coffee shop with a nice book to read, right? And it was going pretty well too, at least that’s how Kaedan felt. He walked into the store, not noticing the pair of eyes that slightly widened at his entrance. Everything was honestly going fine, the line wasn’t too long and the barista was making some pretty good small talk. He took his coffee and sat down near the window, pulling his book out of the small shoulder bag he had grabbed.

He had only been able to get through about thirty pages when he noticed the woman who seemed to be in her late-forties sitting down at a table near him. When he looked up, he was quite interested and a bit confused, since the other man sitting at the table, who looked vaguely familiar, was looking just as confused as Kaedan himself. Some alarm bells were ringing in Kaedan’s head at this point, as he recognized that slightly startled, a slightly worried look in the man’s eyes. 

Then of course, Kaedan had to stop himself from slapping his face, because _how did he miss the mask covering the lower half of the man’s face?_ It took Kaedan way too long to recognize who the man was.

“Hello, darling,” The woman said flirtatiously, and Kaedan had to stop himself from gagging at the extremely saccharine tone she was using. It left a sour taste in his mouth. 

“Uh-Ma’am, do I-do I know you?” The man asked, and Kaedan knew for sure his observations were correct. The man was definitely surprised by the woman. 

“Perhaps not now, but you can get to know me. What is a tall, gorgeous man like you doing sitting here alone?” She asked, and Kaedan rolled his eyes. Yet, he couldn’t help pay attention, especially paying attention to Xion Liu’s reaction. 

His face seemed to speak volumes, even if half of it was covered. He was genuinely confused but the way he was looking around seemed to show nervousness. 

“Ma’am, I’m-Sorry, I don’t think I...I don’t really know you? I don’t know why you would come to-” He began to say, and Kaedan had to admit that it was kind of cute if he didn’t seem so stressed.

“Come on. Everyone knows who you are, you’re that guy, Xion Liu. Everyone knows you’re single and I’ve seen those girls you throw themselves at you. You can’t be considering any of them...After all, an older woman is a woman with more experience.” She said, and Kaedan was beginning to feel as uncomfortable as Xion looked. 

“Ma’am, I’m not looking for anything right now. I don’t know what you’re implying but-but I think you should probably go now-” Xion tried to be a bit more reasonable but strict. 

“Don’t fucking lie to me. It’s no secret you used to sleep around in the past. You must be thinking about sex in a relationship, so you _must_ know that as an older woman, I could-” And Xion lurched back, recoiling as if he’d been bitten by a snake. In a way, he might have been. Kaedan could feel the anger building up inside him. Not only was he angry about the way she was assuming things about Xion, but Xander had also told him how people had seemed to have the same reaction to him in the past, he’d been pushed into sex in relationships because he’d slept with other people and he had been slut-shamed for it too. Kaedan had very calmly asked for the names of those people and their addresses. 

“I’ve been trying to keep this civil, Ma’am, and bringing up topics like that about my past that I’ve already put to rest are only making this situation worse. I am not looking for a casual relationship with anyone right now, I already have my heart set on someone.” Kaedan was surprised when he heard that.

“Who is she? If she’s younger than me, you must know the perks of having an older lady, and I work as a journalist, I can get your more attention in the press-”

“Ma’am, no offense but,” Xion sighed, “One, you being a journalist is only pushing me away even more, and I’m already uninterested. I don’t want more attention from the press, in fact, that’s the last thing I need right now when I’m just trying to sort out my life without my work getting in the way. And two, yes, the person is younger than you because that is what I am comfortable with and three, he’s a man.” He said.

Both Kaedan and the woman seemed to fall dead silent at that, the woman growing steadily more annoyed and Kaedan growing a gleam of happiness in his eyes. The woman spat out, “You’re attracted to women too, though. What makes you think you’re not attracted to me?” Kaedan almost scoffed out loud at how ridiculous this sounded. 

“Ma’am, I think I can tell who I’m clearly attracted to and who I’m clearly not attracted to,” Xion said in a tired voice. Kaedan felt bad for him but at the same time, he had to hold back a laugh at his response.

Suddenly, the woman quickly moved forward, grabbing Xion’s arm tightly, her nails almost sinking into his skin. Kaedan cringed as he saw the red crescent-shaped marks blooming on the man’s arm.

“Listen to me. I told you I’m a journalist, and I’m a well-known one for that. You should mind the fact that you’re in public, after all, I can cause scandal very easily right here. After all, there is at least one person with their phone out and if you make a fuss, I’m sure someone will record it. I don’t think you want to reject me, Xion Liu, because I can make your life very difficult very quickly.” And then Kaedan felt rage, burning, hot anger.

This man had saved his life three times. Twice, it had been his actual life and he had protected Owen, who was basically his life as well. He was not going to sit around and watch this man harassed. 

He stood up and put his book down on the table, slipping a bookmark into it, before walking over to the table he had been observing. He gently but firmly put his hand on the woman’s wrist.

“Ma’am, I think you should take your hands off of him. If you really were looking to ruin his reputation, he could easily rebuke you if you leave marks or scars on him.” He raised an eyebrow. The woman looked annoyed and glared at him. 

“This isn’t any of your business,” She spat out and Kaedan looked at her, a judgemental and emotionless face plastered on.

“Yes, I understand. However, I do know that if I’m having my lovely morning interrupted by someone who keeps harassing a person only a few feet away from me, I think I have the right to say something,” Kaedan said calmly, keeping his tone neutral. If he got angry, then this would surely spiral out of control.

“I’m not harassing him, I was just-It was harmless flirting! You should be careful with the way you word things, you-” She wagged her finger at him and Kaedan was struck with the realization that this woman was _much_ older than him and much older than how old Xion Liu was. And yes, he knew Xion Liu was twenty-eight. Don't ask how he knew that. 

He laughed humorlessly, “Ma’am, that was not harmless flirting. Harmless flirting would have been this,” He turned to Xion who looked even more baffled at this turn of events, “Hi, I think you’re absolutely gorgeous, mind if I sit here with you?” He said, leaning down towards the man. He turned back to look at the lady, not noticing Xion’s eyes trained on him. “And, on top of that, if he said no, I would have simply accepted and _left him alone_. That’s where you made a mistake.” He said to her.

The woman was in stunned anger, before she furiously said, “I can’t harass him, I’m a woman!” To which Kaedan actually did roll his eyes.

“With no offense, Ma’am, if the genders were switched, and you were a man hitting on a young woman, do you know how absolutely creepy you’d seem? Even if he’s above legal age, he told you he was uncomfortable and you completely ignored that, and your gender shouldn’t have anything to do with that.” He said matter of factly.

“How do you know if a young woman would be uncomfortable? You’ve never been a woman, so you couldn’t possibly know how it feels!” 

_Well, at least this is better than how it used to be._

“You don’t know that,” Xion said quietly, and both Kaedan and the woman looked at him confused.

“What?” She asked.

“You don’t know that. It’s disrespectful to assume someone is cisgender, especially when you don’t know anything about them.” Xander said, and the look in his eye was passionate, strong, “I’m going to have to ask you to leave please, Ma’am. Do not make me call the manager on a morning like this. He will not hesitate to side with me.” Xander said firmly now, more confident since someone was taking his side.

The woman got up angrily, clutching her purse, “Of course he would, probably because you slept with him or something,” She muttered angrily. Kaedan was about to give her a piece of his mind when he felt a hand gently rest on his shoulder. He looked to Xion to see the man had a look in his eye, almost like he'd been waiting for this moment.

That was when Kaedan realized how truly intelligent this man was. Especially when he noticed that under the table, the man had his phone in his hand. 

“And what if I have? What difference would it make? Whether I’ve been with him or not doesn’t change the fact that I was uncomfortable, asked you to leave, and you still refused to.” He said, his tone completely changing, and Kaedan was almost thrown off at the sudden flip.

“Because you’re a fucking slut!” The woman finally burst out and Xander finally leaned back, easing into his chair. He lazily held up his phone, showing the voice recording app as he saved it, and _damn_ , that was kind of hot.

“There it is, just what I was expecting. Did you really think I wouldn’t recognize you? Linda Johnson, you’ve been spreading rumors about me since it was released to the public that I have pursued relationships. Or at least, you’ve been attempting to spread rumors about me, I do have to say Guocheng Liu’s fans have done a great job clearing things up. What was the point of all of it? To slut-shame me? Every time you said I was sleeping with a client, I could always prove that it simply wasn’t possible. You really went after me when I was working on Mr. Hernandez’s case,” Kaedan's eyes widened slightly at the mention of his name, “But I told you that I hadn’t even met him in person. At least, not until a few days ago.”

Kaedan was genuinely surprised. He didn’t even know he’d been in a scandal, let alone a scandal with Xion Liu. He hadn’t even known about the rumors...But Xion had. This means that Xion had to take the hit for the rumors, all on his own.

“Haven’t you had enough? How much are you being paid for doing this? I doubt it’s much since people haven’t been buying your content on me, have they? Not since your last slip up. You really should have done your research instead of grabbing at anything mildly scandalous. Then maybe you wouldn’t have accused me of _dating my own sister_ which let’s be honest, she is out as a lesbian internet personality and we even look alike, so I don’t know how you managed to mess up that bad. Now, what would happen if I were to release this recording? That would crush any trust your readers may have had in you. If they had any, at this point.” He said, playing around with his phone. 

The woman got up furiously, clutching her bag, and stormed out, only stopping to shout some even more insults, to which Xion held up the phone with a polite smile on his face and said loudly, “I’m still recording!” At that, the woman slinked out. 

Xion sighed in relief and put the phone down, looking up to Kaedan who was still standing half in shock, “Thank you for trying to rescue me, but don't worry about it, I’m used to it. I believe this is the first time we’ve met where we know each other's identities, right, Mr. Hernandez?” He asked, and gestured for Kaedan to sit down.

He did and immediately, what came out of his mouth was, “You took on that whole scandal by yourself?” and Xion smiled again and nodded.

“Your case was the most involved I ever got into a case, and people thought it was because I had a personal stake in it. I mean, I did, but not in the way they thought. Everyone thought I was sleeping with you and that’s why Julian was angry. People didn’t believe it when I said I didn’t even know you, the only reason I was trying to catch Julian so badly was that I knew _him_.” Xion said calmly.

“How did you-I didn’t even know there was a scandal. How did you contain it that well? It sounds like it would have been a big one,” Kaedan asked softly, stirring his coffee.

Xion laughed as he took a sip of his drink, “That was the whole point. I think that’s the most effort I put in to keep a rumor under lock and key because you were still recovering. Most of my other scandals were pinned on me but some people started blaming you for no reason. I couldn’t allow that.” He shook his head, “And don’t feel guilty. It’s over for the most part. People still like to make general assumptions, especially if they can earn money from it.” He added.

“It must be hard to deal with...I’m sorry. It can’t be easy being in the limelight so often.” Kaedan offered, a little helpless.

“You’re not a stranger to that either if I am correct? You’re an internet personality you must have had your fair share of ugly moments when facing those angry masses.” Xion said and Kaedan laughed.

“Oh, please, don’t even ask. I don’t even want to talk about it,” He said jokingly, but his tone went serious in the next sentence, “This is just me being curious and feel free to ignore me, but the mask...Is there a reason for you wearing it?” Kaedan asked carefully.

“At first, it was so people didn’t recognize me as my internet personality but they figured it out pretty quick. At some point it just became more convenient and people started to recognize me _for_ the mask. You have to imagine my actual confusion since that was the exact opposite of what I wanted,” As Xion talked more, Kaedan noticed how attractive his voice was.

_What is wrong with me? First Xander, now Xion?_

“Oh! You know Xander, right?” Kaedan asked, and Xion nodded, almost as if he had been expecting this.

“I had been expecting you to ask me as soon as you found out. I was surprised you didn’t ask me immediately. He talks a lot about you, you know? I think he really admires you,” Xion said, almost teasingly, and Kaedan wasn’t sure if he was blushing at the implications or just how _hot_ Xion sounded when he was teasing him.

“ _He_ admires _me?_ Tell him to come and tell me himself and I might believe it,” Kaedan said jokingly, and Xion muttered something under his breath., “What did you say? Sorry, I didn’t hear you,” Kaedan asked. 

“He wants to meet you. Trust me. He’s just a bit nervous.” Xion said, almost sympathetically. Kaedan could understand where he was coming from since that was probably the same reason he himself hadn’t asked to meet up.

“Is he...Is he willing to meet up? I’d be completely open to it. If it helps, you can tell him I’m a bit nervous too...But I guess it’s different since I’m not a mystery to the internet when it comes to my face.” Kaedan chuckled.

“Listen, I-I know he’s free next Saturday. If you want, I can bring him here. You guys can meet up. He’ll listen to me, trust me.” Kaedan knew the question was written all over his face since Xion let out a small laugh, “And in case you were wondering, it’s not because I’ve slept with him...That would be complicated and weird for multiple reasons...Never mind. I haven’t slept with the manager here if I needed to clear that up, he’s my childhood friend.” Xion explained.

“I mean I wouldn’t have...cared…I mean...I wouldn’t have cared about the manager if I’m being honest.” Kaedan said shyly.

“Oh? So, you would care if I was sleeping with Xander?” Xion leaned over, resting his chin on his hand. 

“I-” Kaedan couldn’t believe he was telling Xion this, and yet, it felt familiar. It was something about the way he talked, the tone of it, the timbre, the little habits, the feeling he got was so familiar. It made him feel comfortable in the same way he felt like he could talk to Xander about anything, “You feel really familiar. Like...You really remind me of Xander.” Kaedan said, slightly suspicious.

Xion laughed, “Yeah, I get that a lot. Sometimes, when you’re so close to someone, you develop some things similar to them. I’m guessing you think our voices sound similar?” He asked.

“More than that. Your tone, the way you speak, you guys have very similar habits. I just...get the same feeling from you both.” Kaedan said, looking down.

Xion was silent, and Kaedan looked up and was surprised to meet his soft stare, his eyes were warm, like molten gold, and it looked so _fond_.

“You really notice all of that about him, don’t you?” Xion asked softly, and his tone was...touched? Soft? Kaedan was getting more and more confused.

“Yeah...I mean...I thought it was obvious?” He asked, “You didn’t notice it?” He added on to the end.

“No, Kaedan. He only talks to _you_ like that. I’ve been around when he’s talked to you. It's only you and occasionally his sister but even that’s completely different.” Xion smiled, and Kaedan knew his face was probably on fire now. 

“I-What’s your favorite song? I mean-uh, if you were to sing any song-sorry, that was so random,” Kaedan covered his face in embarrassment at his outburst.

“Black On Black by Greyson Chance,” Xion replied almost immediately, “I feel that I can relate to quite a few of the lyrics in the song.” He seemed to be grinning under the mask. 

“Hm, I should look into it then. I’d get to know more about the mysterious famous lawyer Xion Guocheng Liu.” Then he paused. And his eyes widened. “Oh my God, you’re Guocheng Liu? Like the YouTube Controversy Explanation guy? The one that everyone loves because of his voice and commentary?” He asked, almost a bit too loudly.

“You don’t really have a filter do you?” Xion asked, his voice seemed amused, “Yes, I am Guocheng Liu. I hope you agree with those opinions about my voice and commentary,” He winked and it finally sunk into Kaedan’s head.

_Is Xion Liu...flirting with me?_

“Well, now I’m definitely going to go and watch every one of your videos. I’ve watched quite a few and I can confidently say, you’re good at what you do. Very convincing.” Kaedan said playfully.

“Well, being a lawyer does that to you.” Suddenly, Xion’s phone rang and he picked up. Kaedan noticed he was speaking in another language, and from some of the words, he could assume it was Mandarin. He hung up and sighed standing up, “As much as I’d love to keep sitting around her with you, family call. My sister needs some help.” He said and smiled at Kaedan.

“I think the next time you see me, it may be without the mask. I’ll see you around, Kaedan Hernandez.” Xion said, as he walked past Kaedan and out of the shop. Kaedan took a few seconds to process that before getting up to leave as well. When he went to pay for his drink, the waiter looked at him.

“Your date paid for you before he left.” The waiter said, almost with a teasing look on his face.

Kaedan felt hot, “He’s not-He wasn’t my date I was just…”

The waiter shook his head and smiled, “I know my Lius. That was basically a date, even if neither of you knows it now.” He said, and Kaedan realized this man was probably the manager, Xion’s best friend, “Have a nice day, Kaedan Hernandez.” He said.

Kaedan left but the thought about it. _How did he know my full name?_

As the day went on, Kaedan grew more and more suspicious. When they were playing Among Us, Kaedan could hear Xander humming a song. When Kaedan asked, to his surprise, Xander answered, “Black on Black by Greyson Chance. I quite like the lyrics.” And Kaedan swore he heard Lumina scoff in the background.

“That’s funny, someone recommended that song to me earlier today. Your friend, Xion Liu, actually.” Kaedan said.

He heard something crash and he could distantly hear Lumian yell something, probably at Xander. Xander muted his mic so Kaedan could only hear yelling and...hysterical laughing through Lumina’s mic? When Lumina sat back down at her mic, she sighed.

“You are absolutely _hopeless_ , Kaedan. How much more direct could he have been?” She muttered and Kaedan was confused. He decided to put it off until later because Lumina normally made no sense.

A couple of hours later, as Kaedan was scrolling through Guocheng Liu’s videos, he saw that a new video had been posted. It was a cover, and Kaedan’s heart almost stopped when he read the title.

_Greyson Chance-Black On Black Cover (By Guocheng Liu)_

He didn’t hesitate to click on it, and he was greeted by the familiar sight of Xion in his mask, and music starting up. The moment the music simplified to only the main instruments and Xion’s voice came through, Kaedan almost fell off his bed. The voice was deep, yet rich, but with the right amount of husky. The moment he dropped into the rap at the end, Kaedan’s eyes almost rolled into the back of his head at how truly _sexual_ it sounded, especially with those lyrics.

“What the fuck, this is so _sexy_ . Was the-Is the original song this sexy? God, what the fuck how is this not 18+ on YouTube this is so _hot_?” Kaedan choked out loud and Owen looked over at him. He walked over and saw that it was the cover.

“You know what, I had the same reaction, understandable, have a nice day.” Owen nodded and went to his room.

As he rewatched and relistened, Kaedan noticed certain lyrics and how Xion would make eye contact with the camera when singing those lines, like, “I love the way you wear that black on black.” To which Kaedan’s brain unhelpfully supplied that _he_ was wearing all black when he met Xion, “You’ll snap some polaroids because boy that’s your style,” To which Kaedan’s brain once again added that _he_ liked taking polaroids and had many, but that was impossible, Xion didn’t know-

But Kaedan was getting suspicious.

Now that he wasn’t _as_ affected or taken off guard by the rap, his heart caught when Xion looked at the camera and said, “California kid, you’re nasty punk, smoking them cigs and smoking all them blunts,” How could he-Maybe he knew from the case, but Kaedan wasn’t so sure anymore. But...Xander knew. And then, “California kid, you’re a fucking sleaze, but damn boy you got me fucking on my knees.” And Kaedan felt his face burning. It felt like so many coincidences but Kaedan, even though he was a therapist, he himself was a coward.

He would never be able to reach out to ask, in case he was wrong. They could just be coincidences. 

Kaedan leaned back and sighed, covering his face with his hands, “Why do I always get fucked over when it comes to love. I can’t even blame anyone this time, this was all my own doing.”


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mild Sexual Content + Implied Sexual Content (Skip from "Oh no, don't be mistaken..." to "He would have said that if..."

**5.**

It took only one video uploaded to a channel minutes after Kaedan’s breakdown over Xion’s voice for everything Kaedan knew to come crashing down.

“Kaedan! Fenix told me to tell you to check Lumina’s channel!” Owen yelled from his room, and Kaedan, who had somewhat recovered, decided to listen to Owen. That was his mistake.

As he opened up his laptop, he saw, confusingly, the screencap looked a lot like the setting in Guocheng Liu’s video. Oh well, maybe Lumina helped Xion, since Xander and he were close. However, the video name was a bit strange.

 _I can’t believe you two are this ridiculous. If you still can’t figure it out with this, Kaedan, then I’m unfriending you_.

Kaedan pouted at the title but clicked on the video. He could hear conversations and the voice behind the camera was _definitely_ Xander. There was no way that wasn’t Xander. Xion Liu’s voice was normally muffled by the mask. 

“You’re so ridiculous, ge.” Lumina’s voice was clear and as the camera focused, he could see Lumina setting the mic up to the right height. He was a bit surprised since it was the same mic he’d seen Lumina and Mina use when they posted joint covers on Lumina’s channel. Maybe Xion didn’t have a microphone so he was borrowing Lumina’s. 

“What? I’m just doing this because I want to.” And with the mask muffling, Kaedan could guess that it was Xion. However, even though he expected Xander to respond, there was no answer, just Xion and Lumina talking as if Xander wasn’t even there.

“Cheng-ge, you could be normal and confess like a normal person. Isn’t this too extra?” Lumina asked, and Kaedan was genuinely confused. He thought that he had heard Lumina occasionally call Xander “Cheng-ge” in passing in Among Us games when not at the camera and yet, it was Xion who responded.

“Listen, I know he likes me. I just don’t know which me he likes. I doubt he’ll figure it out if I put this up. I slipped so many times this morning and he still didn’t notice. When you called me, I said A’Li so many times. Then again I was speaking in Mandarin, and quick, so he probably couldn’t tell.” Xion said, laughing lightly.

Kaedan was too in shock to respond. He thought he had heard “A’Li” in there occasionally but maybe that was something people close to Lumina called her? Kaedan could tell his brain was trying very hard to deny the realization creeping into his mind.

The video was near its end and it was cut to Xion in front of the microphone and Kaedan could feel his heart beating. Xander hadn’t responded, as if he had...Never been there…

“So, which account are you going to post this on?” Lumina asked, and with those ten words, Kaedan dropped his phone, cringing at the sound it made when it hit the ground. He scrambled to pick it up.

“Well, I imagine the whole world would have a meltdown if Xander Liu released a video with his face in it and him singing. Especially if he looked exactly like a pretty well-known lawyer. I’m probably going to post it on Guocheng Liu.” And Kaedan felt absolutely everything come crashing down.

**_What._ **

“I would have thought your fans would have figured it out. Haven't I called you Guocheng-ge or Cheng-ge in livestreams? Guocheng isn’t that common, plus with the voices…” Lumina said from behind the camera.

“Oh well, I mean, he’ll know by Saturday. Let’s hope it goes well, then at least I can show him this and explain it. Honey-voiced gem of YouTube has very cute reactions.” And Kaedan had to hold back a scream.

The video ended and Kaedan stared at his black screen. After a few seconds, he scrolled down to the comments.

“ _Lumina is fucking ICONIC. She straight-up confirmed Guocheng Liu not only has two different accounts but his other account is Xander Liu._ ”

“ _What you’re telling me is that Xander Liu and Guocheng Liu are the same people and we didn’t KNOW???_ ”

“ _Wait, did he just imply that he’s going to confess to someone on Saturday??? DID HE IMPLY HE WAS CONFESSING TO KAEDAN ON SATURDAY??_ ”

“ _So wait, Xion Liu, Guocheng Liu, and Xander Liu are the same people? Then what the fuck is his name?_ ” 

Under that, to Kaedan’s surprise, was a response from Mina that made him want to absolutely murder his best friend because _of course, Mina knew all along_.

“ _His name is Alexander Guocheng Liu. Xion was just his alias for privacy reasons but it didn't really work as well as he had hoped._ ” 

Right as he heard Owen come running down the stairs, he heard knocking at the door. He looked at Owen, and walked over to the door, and opened it. To his surprise, an out of breath Leon was at his door.

As the man caught his breath, Kaedan was about to ask why he was here. Leon suddenly lurched up and grabbed Kaedan by the shoulders and shook him violently, “Listen to me, you dumbass. Guocheng Liu is Xander Liu which means that confession was for you. He fucking likes you too. Now if you don’t get your ass in that car and go over there right now, then I will kidnap you and drive you over there now.” Leon said in one breath.

“I-” He looked back at Owen to see the boy with his hands on his hips, staring back at him with an expectant look.

“What are you looking back at me for? The man has spoken,” He said, gesturing to Leon, “I’ve already sent you their address. You better get going.” He added and Kaedan nodded, running past Leon.

“Well, my job here is done. I’m gonna head out. Make sure you keep an eye out, Lumina said she’s heading over here for tonight. Don’t expect Kaedan home.” Leon winked and Owen groaned.

“You know that’s my _brother_ you’re talking about.” Owen rolled his eyes as he closed the door, “But you know what, he needed to get fucking laid.”

“Oh my God, shut up, you’re a child.” 

“Leon, I’m fucking sixteen and I’m dating Fenix, I’m not dumb.” 

Kaedan could say that he had never driven so efficiently before, swerving into lanes so professionally that he could be mistaken for a race car driver. _Xander was Xion. Xander was Guocheng. Xion knew about Kaedan’s feelings. Xander knew about Kaedan’s feelings. Xion said Xander talks about him a lot, that he admires him, that he wants to meet him. That means-_

Kaedan shook his head, clearing his mind. If he didn’t stop thinking right now, he was going to crash. With that in mind, he drove the rest of the way with absolutely no thoughts in his head, none that was logical at least.

When he finally pulled up to the house (which was exquisite but with Xion-Xander’s salary as a lawyer, he wasn’t surprised) and parked the car in the driveway, he got out and ran to the door. He knew he probably looked a mess, hair askew, shirt half hanging off his shoulder, sneakers half on, absolutely no makeup, but the absolute shock and adrenaline had him completely ignoring that as he urgently knocked on the door.

“Seriously, A’Li? I told you to take the keys. I’m surprised, I thought you’d definitely spend the night at Mina’s again.” He could hear Xander’s somewhat annoyed yet amused voice through the door as the lock clicked, “Did you forget some-Kaedan?” Xander was rendered speechless in absolute shock. 

Kaedan couldn’t take his eyes off the man. His hair was damp but not soaking and he had a towel in his hand, he guessed Xander had been towel-drying his hair. Those fucking eyes. If only he’d been able to see Xander’s eyes once, he would have been able to tell the moment he saw him protecting Owen at the cafe. Those eyes were just as enchanting as he remembered, like amber. Widened in shock, they were still so beautiful. And without the mask, Kaedan could see what an unfairly handsome man he was. Maybe it was better for him to wear the mask because Kaedan was having trouble processing what he was seeing. Sharp cheekbones, sharp jawlines, angles everywhere and yet there was a softness and if Kaedan could describe perfection, he thought Xander was the closest he’d get to it.

And if he even tried to process his body, Kaedan might spontaneously explode because that muscle tank top was causing some _problems_ , especially with the loose black sweatpants. Even with clothes as casual as this, his skiing glowed against it and God he was just-

“So fucking gorgeous.” Was the words that spilled out of Kaedan’s mouth without even thinking.

Xander finally seemed to come to his senses and laughed, “I-You’ve gotta be talking about yourself. You’re more ethereal in person-” And this snapped Kaedan out of his stupor because _fuck_ , Xander still didn’t know Kaedan _knew_.

He grabbed Xander’s arm and dragged him inside, closing and locking the door because he wasn't leaving until he got this sorted out. Kaedan leaned against the closed door, arms crossed.

“So, I mean, this wasn’t-I wasn’t expecting for you to see me this early. I was thinking Saturday but-” Xander started but Kaedan cut him off.

“Listen to me, and you better actually listen up. I understand that I am dumb. I should have noticed the moment I met you in the cafe with Owen. I fucking _did_. I thought to myself ‘Huh, his voice sounds familiar’. I definitely knew it deep down as we were talking this morning. I had my fucking suspicions. You were so convincing, you know that? Why didn’t you tell me then?” Kaedan asked.

Xander let out a sigh. There was no way to hide it now, Kaedan knew everything. Well, almost everything. “I didn’t want to say anything because I had feelings for you but...You seemed to like Xander. You didn’t even know who Xion was. And you had only heard of Guocheng in passing. And then when I talked to you this morning, you kind of confirmed my suspicions that you liked Xander. But I was...worried you wouldn’t accept Xion or Guocheng because they’re sides of me that you just...Didn’t know.” Xander said.

Kaedan felt himself melt, “Xander, I’m going to be completely honest with you,” He said, stepping forward, “I was so far gone that I wouldn’t have cared. In fact, you also being Guocheng wouldn’t have changed anything and being Xion well...I wasn’t exactly _against_ you flirting with me this morning. If I may speak my mind, what you did this morning? That was fucking _hot_. God, I thought it was fucking obvious that I was like half in love with you-Not Xander, not Xion, not Guocheng, just you. Because they’re all parts of you. Xander, you’ve made me feel a way no one has ever been able to make me feel in a relationship. I was honestly just so stupid because I should have noticed.” He said.

“I...I did make it hard for you to notice...I did kind of have an answer for everything.” Xander said weakly, to which Kaedan giggled. Even Xander couldn’t deny he’d been dumb, “But when you said that “Xion” and I sounded alike and started giving exact examples...I was going to kiss you right there. I wanted to kiss you until you realized that no one has paid _that_ much attention to me and I wanted you so much that I couldn’t _think_. Even if you didn’t want me, I’d be fine living with just loving you. I always admired the way you moved on from the case and made a name for yourself on the internet.” He said, looking Kaedan directly in the eye.

“...That long?” Kaedan asked in wonder.

“I thought I was just one of the thousands of people on the internet who "fell in love" with you. And you are very loved, even though you seem to not know it. You’re irresistible, Kaedan. I didn’t want it to seem like I felt like you owed me something because of the case so I introduced myself as Xander. Which I wasn’t lying, people do know me as Xander even in daily life. When I actually started talking to you, I realized this wasn’t just a tiny internet crush. I actually _liked_ you. When I saw you, I almost froze entirely. Do you know how overwhelming it is to see someone so beautiful in person?” Xander huffed.

“Yeah, you say this, and yet you don’t know that I spent a good five minutes staring at your hands on the mic in the song cover-Well, now you know but I honestly give zero fucks.” Kaedan threw up his hands in frustration while Xander looked at his own hands with interest. 

“My hands?” He asked, looking at him with an amused expression on his face.

“We can talk about _that_ later,” Kaedan waved him off, “I don’t think you understand the number of times I simply stopped _functioning_ when you spoke to me. And we need to talk about that song cover. I saw what you did, looking at the camera when you said those lines, you bastard. I’m stupid, but that one at least got me to consider that something was going on. What were you thinking-”

“I know, humming the song on the same day “Xion” said he’d like to do a cover of the song was a bit much, but I meant every word I sang,” Xander said.

Kaedan’s brain flashed back to certain parts of the song, mainly the “ _California kid, you’re a fucking sleaze but damn boy, you got me fucking on my knees_ ,”, “ _M6 riding making out in the back,_ ”, and “ _Love the way you wear that black on black, take it off like that_ ,” lines. Not helpful. _You’re wearing black on black right now_ , his brain uselessly added. Instead, he said, “Are you sure about that, I mean some of those lines-”

“Kaedan.” Xander said firmly, strongly, and Kaedan felt a shiver go up his spine at the way Xander’s voice had dropped even lower and his eyes had darkened, “Every. Word.” He said. Kaedan gulped, then an idea formed in his head. Alright, two can play at this game.

“You have this tone that you use when you’re talking to me that’s so warm and I just melt every time I hear it. Your voice when you’re narrating your commentary videos is so attractive, especially when you’re not amused, that’s just downright _illegal_. I thought it was just me but now that I know everything, every time I laughed, your breath would hitch, and every time you laughed, I would lose my mind. Why do you think I stuttered so much when I first started talking to you? Your voice is so fucking hot that it’s not fair and especially your Important Lawyer voice. When you told that woman off earlier today, a part of me wanted to grab you and make out with you in my car-”

The noise that came out of Xander’s throat was similar to a growl as he stepped forward, into Kaedan’s circle, breaking into his personal space exactly the way he wanted, “What are you trying to do? If you keep going, I’m not going to be able to hold back,” He said quietly but warningly.

Kaedan didn’t even hesitate for a moment, “And if I’m going to talk about illegal things, then we _cannot_ leave out your voice in that cover. Who the hell gave you the right to make that song even more sexual than it already was? I was already so close to losing my self-control when you _started_ singing and then you came in with the husky voice during the rap and all I could think was, “I want to hear his voice like that in bed.” And let me tell you right now, after saying all that earlier and saying you’d kiss me, I’m not leaving until you actually-”

Kaedan was cut off rather conveniently by Xander’s mouth as the man finally stepped forward and angled his head down, their lips crashing together. Kaedan mouthed a “finally” against his lips as he felt the door against his back.

Xander's hands were on him, gripping his waist while the other was cupping his neck, bringing him even closer. Kaedan's hands were everywhere, in Xander's hair, tugging gently at it, on his arms, tracing the curve of his muscles, running up and down his back, gripping at the tank top.

"You're un-fucking-believable," Kaedan panted out, before Xander dove in again, exploring his mouth thoroughly, nipping and tugging and Kaedan's lower with his teeth, causing the shorter to moan into his mouth, "You've got the body of a Greek statue and on top of that you have fucking _tattoos_? Unacceptable. After the hell you've put me through, you're obligated to absolutely rail me. Unless you don't want to. Because I'm completely fine with-" Xander cut him off by slipping his hands under Kaedan's thighs and picking him up, the younger's arms and legs wrapping around him as he was pushed against the wall a bit more forcefully to hold him up. 

"Oh no, don't be mistaken, Kaedan. I do plan on "absolutely railing" you." Xander said, grinning.

"Okay, and you can pick me up like I weigh nothing, another thing for me to keep in mind. You're so fucking _hot_ , Xander, this is so fucking unfair, if you don't do something-" Xander trailed kisses and bites down Kaedan's jaw and to his neck before attacking his collarbone. Kaedan almost let out a whine, just managing to bring his wrist to his mouth and bit down to quiet himself. With every bite, Xander would soothe it with his tongue and Kaedan couldn't help but pull Xander's hair at each surprising bite and nip. When Xander finally pulled away, satisfied with the marks on Kaedan's neck, he pulled Kaedan's hand out of his mouth.

As he rolled his hips up into Kaedan's, who tried to muffle his moans with his hands, Xander grabbed both of his hands and held them above Kaedan's head before leaning in, "Don’t try to be quiet. I like it when my partner is loud, especially when I can tell I'm absolutely wrecking them." He said in the same husky voice he used in the rap part of the song and Kaedan let out an audible whine at that, unknowingly grinding down.

Xander let him down, only to slip his hands under Kaedan's black t-shirt, "If this doesn't come off in the next few seconds, I'm going to rip it." Xander warned him and Kaedan smirked.

"Be my guest," he spread his arms, and within seconds, the shirt was torn in half, barely hanging off Kaedan. Xander's hands were hot on his bare skin and Kaedan didn't know how much longer he could last, especially if Xander's shirt didn't come off immediately.

As if he was reading Kaedan's mind, Xander pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it to the side and honestly, Kaedan had never been the type to look at some and go, "I want to lick their abs," but then again, Xander has created a lot of new feelings from him. Then, he caught sight of the tattoos on Xanders back, it was basically all over. 

As Xander kissed him again, pushing him down, Kaedan felt his knees go out from under him and Xander caught him with no problem, lowering them both to the ground, not even breaking contact.

"-Hey, hey. Wait, hold on." Kaedan pulled away, and Xander looked at him worriedly.

"Do you not want to do this? I completely understand if not-" Kaedan cut him off by surging up to crash his lips onto Xander's. 

"No, _no_ , I fucking want this. God, you're so fucking sexy, if I didn't get railed by you I'd never forgive myself. If we keep going at this rate we," Kaedan gasped as Xander attacked his neck again, "We're going to end up fucking on the floor."

Xander pulled away and the look in his eyes was calculating and dark as he grinned, "I'll have to keep that in mind for next time."

"Jesus fuck, you’re _unreal_ , where have you been all my life?” Kaedan groaned, broken through by a desperate whine as Xander lightly scratched at his hip bones, just slipping under the waistband of his black jeans in a way that made him shiver and his hips jerked forward, “Listen if you’re actually down to-”

Xander gave him a smile that was starkly contrasting from the way he was leaving marks on Kaedan’s chest, “Next time. Let’s at least have the first time be on a bed,” There was warmth, gentleness, and really in the way he held him, Kaedan could feel it had always been there, the gentle undertone to the aggressiveness, and Kaedan was still reeling from the fact that there was going to be a _next_ time. 

Kaedan wanted more. He wanted Xander to absolutely _wreck_ him.

He moved forward so he was completely in Xander’s lap, the other’s hands warm on his bare back, and he leaned down to his ear, “Please, take me to bed.” He said, and caught one of Xander’s earrings between his teeth and tugged. He could feel the vibrations of Xander groaning as he picked him up and stood up, navigating the house easily. 

“Jesus, you’re so fucking _strong_ , is this even hard for you?” Kaedan asked breathlessly as he pulled away, Xander starting to go up the stairs.

“No, but for safety reasons, I have to put you down,” Xander said playfully and put him down, pulling him up the stairs. As soon as they reached the top, Kaedan pushed Xander against the wall, grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him down to slot their lips together. Xander pulled him closer, closer, closer, until then only things between them were the remaining clothes that hadn’t been discarded downstairs and Xander moved forward, leading Kaedan backward into the room.

He pushed Kaedan onto the bed and moved on top of him, and Kaedan didn’t hesitate to lock his legs around Xander’s waist, his heels digging into the man's back. As Xander slid one hand down to his thigh, pulling it up so he could move closer. As his grip on Kaedan’s thigh tightened, Kaedan let out a moan, his mouth falling open, and Xander took advantage of it, leaning forward to press open-mouthed, wet, heady, kisses to Kaedan’s lips.

“Are you absolutely sure you want this?” Xander asked against Kaedan’s chest as he trailed kisses down, biting at the marks that had already bloomed. Kaedan arched his back, tightening his hand in Xander's hair as he tugged the man up until he was face to face with him. He leaned up, letting his nails dig into Xander’s back as he whispered into his ear.

“I want you to absolutely wreck me.”

The look on Xander’s face was enough to send shivers down Kaedan’s spine as he rolled his hips up. It was dark, eyes clouded by lust, and Xander was moving with a purpose now, moving back down, stopping right before the button on Kaedan’s dark wash jeans and looking up at him.

“As you wish, babe.”

If Kaedan hadn’t been so occupied and turned on in that moment, he’d say that the moment the word “babe” came out of Xander’s mouth and directed to him, would have been the moment ascended.

He would have said that, if it weren’t for the fact Xander had absolutely taken him to the sky that night, and he woke up tucked into Xander’s warm arms, and staring at one of the most beautiful people he’d ever met. He shouldn’t have been surprised, he was the brother of a supermodel. Which was going to take a while to get used to, if he was being honest. His boyfriend (?) was a well-known lawyer.

Wait.

_Did all his friends know?_

He checked his phone to see a bunch of direct messages from people he didn’t even know. He realized they were _his fans_ and _Xander’s fans_. They all said the same thing, which was, “Xander Liu likes you too, so please confess to him. We all know you like him too.” It was quite funny to see since it showed how absolutely oblivious people thought he was. But he didn’t have the right to talk, he was maybe only a step above the level people thought he was at.

He checked his messages to see congratulations texts from absolutely everyone, Lumina, Mina, Leon, Risále, Bella, Hyunwoo, Fenix, Owen, Val, and Nia. Kaedan smacked his forehead, “So I _was_ the only person who didn’t know…”

He looked at Xander and smiled softly. The morning light was hitting him perfectly, highlighting his skin, glowing almost ethereal. His hair was messy but framing his head like a halo and he looked like a true _angel_ . Which Kaedan found very ironic since the man was an absolute _beast_ in bed. 

As he got up, he noticed that he was actually mostly clean, in a shirt that was much too big for him and shorts that were loose on him, hanging low on his hips. “Of course, because you couldn’t stop being perfect. Of course, you’re great at aftercare, too.” 

He got up and winced slightly at the ache he felt. He looked over at the table to see two pills next to a note. _This should help with the pain if you wake up before me_. Kaedan smiled and took them, heading downstairs to the kitchen to get some water.

“The least I could do is make breakfast or something,” Kaedan said to himself as he saw a pancake mix on the counter.

As he worked on the pancakes and looked for some orange juice, he started singing a song quietly under his breath. As he put the pancakes on a plate and cleaned up the kitchen, he turned off the stove and heard a rough, husky voice from the entrance of the kitchen.

“Hey, babe.”

Kaedan turned and looked at the man, leaning back against the counter as Xander rubbed his eyes a bit, looking at him fondly, his voice was tired but it was the same tone he heard over the phone, the same fondness, the same one he thought about, the same one he loved-

“Hey.” Kaedan smiled.


	6. + One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mild mentions of sex

**+1.**

When Xander woke up, it was to hear soft singing from downstairs. As he finally actually woke up, he smiled softly, recognizing the voice. Of course, he would, he’d been attracted to that person for the better part of a year. And had been in love with him for possibly the past month. 

He remembered the first time Kaedan had talked to him and his heart had almost given up right there. Especially when he heard how shy Kaedan was. He wasn’t oblivious, he had checked the comments, a couple of Kaedan’s streams that he was in.

Kaedan was more obvious than he thought and Xander was not as oblivious.

However, he could have never imagined that Kaedan would have been the way that he was in bed. Kaedan had always seemed like the type to not be so...expressive during sex, and yet...

Flashes of last night were recalled to his brain, skin burning to the touch, sweaty hair, a hot mouth moving insistently against his, against his body, a sharp but pleasant sting as nails raked his back, long legs entangled around his waist, a body arching off the bed, firm against his own, Kaedan under him, Kaedan astride his hips, Kaedan with his head thrown back, eyes closed, mouth falling open as some of the most _sinful_ noises escaped him, and Kaedan’s voice, insistent, sultry, rough, the hot breath against the shell of his ear, the tugging of his earring, teeth nipping at his ear, and the _words_ that left Kaedan’s mouth that night...

“You are just full of surprises, aren’t you?” Xander chuckled as he got out of bed, “Alright, about time I go confront that gorgeous songbird in my kitchen.” He muttered to himself.

As he got up and walked down the stairs, he could hear the lyrics and his heart melted. “ _I hate this part, paper hearts, and I hold a piece of yours. Hoping that you don’t forget about it..._ ” Kaedan’s voice was, when not as needy as it was last night, was actually very sweet, very smooth. Something about it was so comforting and he had to agree with something someone said the first time he’d met Kaedan as Xander. While Xander’s voice was the one that people would like to hear in bed, and wake up to, Kaedan’s voice was perfect to comfort you, to put you to sleep. It was like a warm blanket, wrapping around him, like slow, sweet honey. 

Kaedan hadn’t noticed that he was there yet and Xander watched him softly, leaning on the wall as Kaedan turned off the stove. “Hey, babe.” He said quietly, his voice rough from sleep and other things.

Kaedan turned to him, his emerald eyes searching him. Xander took the opportunity to look the man over. Something about his eyes...They always had this shine to them, as if they were sparkling. Kaedan had high cheekbones and his face was sculpted, but there was also a softness to it, something that made his face look so gentle. No wonder he was a therapist, not only did he care and have the personality and put in the work for it, he looked comforting, looked like _home_. 

But Xander wasn’t stupid. He’d seen the fierceness in Kaedan’s eyes when he saw Mr. Callahan in the cafe. He’d seen how absolutely terrifying and _hot_ it had been when Kaedan had absolutely decked the man in the face and sweetly told him to never show his face near them again. He’d seen the anger in Kaedan’s eyes when the woman hadn’t left him alone in the cafe. And he’d definitely seen the burning lust in Kaedan’s eyes last night as he’d-

“Hey,” Kaedan said softly, leaning back on the counter and giving him a brilliant smile and Xander _melted_. He walked over and moved Kaedan’s hair out of his face before pressing a kiss to it, and Kaedan giggled. Xander cupped Kaedan’s face in his hands and gently pressed a kiss to his lips. “Come on, get some breakfast. We have quite a bit to discuss, don’t we?” Kaedan asked, a little bit shyly.

Xander took a plate and gently grabbed Kaedan’s hand, leading him to sit at the table. They ate in comfortable silence and once they were done, both of them sat on the couch. 

“So, I know this was a little bit all over the place compared to your normal everyday relationship-” Xander started and Kaedan laughed.

“Listen, I’ve had my fair share of dysfunctional relationships. This is probably one of the most normal ones I’ve had.” He said, and Xander nodded.

“You know what, understandable, relatable, and valid. Even though we’ve kind of done this backward, I wanted to...you know...actually ask you out. You said last night that you-you accept me as Xander, as Guocheng, and as Xion, so I wanted to ask you if you would be my boyfriend?” Xander said a little bit nervously. He normally wouldn’t be nervous asking someone out but this was Kaedan. Kaedan, who he thought was unreachable. Kaedan, who he never expected to want him back. Kaedan, who he was afraid to lose.

But Kaedan only looked at him and leaned over, wrapping his arms around his neck and Xander hugged him back, hands splayed on Kaedan’s back. “I’d love to be your boyfriend, Alexander Guocheng Liu.”

Xander sighed and then pulled away, “By the way, how did you know? Was it just through the song because I really thought you wouldn’t have figured it out?” He said honestly and Kaedan looked away in embarrassment.

“Okay, so, maybe there’s a video uploaded to Lumina’s channel that’s titled, “ _I can’t believe you two are this ridiculous. If you still can’t figure it out with this, Kaedan, then I’m unfriending you_.” and that’s what finally got me to accept that you were Xion and Guocheng too.” He said.

“Seriously? I did dare her to upload. I just didn’t think she’d follow through,” Xander said as he checked his phone to see that he had texts from Lumina. _Listen, you’re gonna thank me for this_ , was sent around the time Kaedan had gotten to his house, and then _Since you haven’t responded, I’m guessing you got laid?_

“Yeah, well, to be fair, our friends think I’m really dumb because even _Leon_ ran over and told me to get over here and confess to you. _Leon_. This is the same guy who had three people, who were in a polyamorous relationship, flirting with him and didn’t realize it until they straight up told him that they all liked him and would like him to be a part of their relationship. I’m honestly lowkey offended.” Kaedan said, his tone slightly annoyed but his point was so cute that Xander couldn’t help but to lean over and kiss his cheek.

“I don’t really blame them? I have a feeling that if A’Li hadn’t posted that video, you wouldn’t be here today. I said next Saturday because I was planning on dropping more and more obvious hints on my channel until it wouldn’t be too much of a shock on Saturday when I showed up and explained everything.” Xander explained.

“Ah, and the “A’Li” thing. That kind of clued me in because you, like Xander, were the only person I’d ever heard call Lumina that.” Kaedan added, getting comfortable, leaning against Xander’s shoulder.

“If that was the case then there was this one ASMR video I made a while back on Guocheng Liu, if you’d seen it till the very end, I actually talked to Lumina in Mandarin, called her A’Li. It was really quiet though, so no one caught it and it felt safe to post. I could barely hear it myself,” Xander laughed.

“Also, did Mina know all along? I mean, I’m guessing she knew for a while judging by the texts she sent me and the pinned comment. She knew your full name.” Kaedan asked.

Xander looked at him, “Well, obviously. I had to work with her in person to get Julian thrown into jail the first time, then to get her away from her family, and to rebuke the bail a couple of weeks ago. She’s also kind of in love with my sister and they always hang out here, and she would have found out eventually. She knew about the Xion and Guocheng thing, that was what we had to tell her. Mina actually encouraged me to make the Xander Liu channel, but we didn’t really make it obvious that we knew each other very well because I didn’t want to leech off of her for views or subscribers.” 

“Ah, my boyfriend is so thoughtful,” Kaedan laughed, leaning back into Xander, his head fitting perfectly under the older’s chin. Xander pecked his head as his hand found Kaedan’s, “This is completely optional, and I’m completely okay if you don’t want to, but do you maybe want to...make it official? Like, on YouTube?” Kaedan asked softly.

Xander rubbed the back of Kaedan’s hand with his thumb, “I think I would like that, my love.” He said gently, and Kaedan whined slightly.

“Listen, you’re not allowed to be so cute after what you did to me last night, you absolute _beast_ ,” Kaedan muttered, slightly inconvenienced.

“Says you,” shot back Xander, “You’re so much more than what I was expecting, people really think you’re innocent on the internet and yet what I saw last night kind of shattered all sense of reality that I had. Unreal. Was that Kaedan or was that some sort of sex demon that took your form?” Xander said, nuzzling Kaedan’s neck as the younger laughed.

“Hey, I can’t control what the internet thinks about me, but for what _you_ think about me...Is there a rule that says I can’t be both?” Kaedan asked innocent and Xander hid his face in Kaedan’s shoulder as his arms wrapped around the man’s waist.

“I swear, you’re going to be the death of me.”

“I know, and you only have yourself to blame,” Kaedan teased, “Now come on, the sooner we finish recording that video response, the sooner we can get back to cuddling. And be prepared,” Kaedan said as he stood up, “I really like my cuddles, so don’t even try to escape them.” He glared.

Xander smiled.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, _baobei_.”

And if every one of Kaedan and Xander’s friends that could drink had taken a shot (The underage ones taking a shot of black coffee with about four espresso shots) when they saw the new video uploaded to Kaedan’s channel titled, _Everyone was right, I now have a boyfriend and his name is Alexander Guocheng Liu_ , then no one talked about it.


End file.
